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The White Hindu has moved! This blog is no longer updated, but Ambaa is still writing The White Hindu every weekday at

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Why are People Mean?

I really believe that people's basic nature is good. Also, that all human beings are created in the image of God, are in fact God and as such should be treated with utmost respect and love.

Yet that is not what we see in day to day life.

Sometimes I think I am the only one who believes this! So many people seem to think that they are right and anyone who is not on the same path should be "re-educated," by force if necessary. Or else they think that minds are changed by ridiculing and hurting other people.

What exactly does it accomplish to call me a bitch? To say I'm like my "fucking for[e] fathers"? To spit in my face?

I'm not perfect, and I'm doing the best that I can here, exploring the mysteries of the universe. Are you trying to get me to stop? Are you hurting me just because you think it's fun? It does hurt. It hurts a lot. So, if that gives you satisfaction, then I'm glad. If it makes you happier, well, the world can use more happiness.

But I have a hard time understanding what purpose it really serves to say nasty things about anyone-- whether it is me, professing to be a religious woman, or a nun who is also doing the best she can to understand the world, or a Muslim woman who I'm sure has studied her faith to her own satisfaction.

Before anyone takes this too personally, it seems that there are two people who are continuing to submit vile, nasty, mean-spirited, hateful comments. It hurts me very deeply.

Show some love and some respect to your fellow human beings, who are your equal no matter what their beliefs.


  1. Do you have your comments set to moderate? I'm sorry that some TROLLS with nothing better to do are picking on you. Please don't let it upset you.. it isn't worth it. All of us who have been blogging for a while run into "hecklers" & "trolls" eventually- and while they are definitely horrible while we're the target of their venom.. they fade quickly back into their muck & mire. *hugs* Please keep up posting!!

  2. Your post made me so sad! :'( Some people like to hide behind the anonymity of the Internet and act like bullies, which is such a cowardly thing to do. Just know that a lot of us out here love your blog and think you're just the bee's knees! **HUGS!! **

    Namaste _/||\_

  3. I am sorry that you are having problems with trolls. I think that some of the answers to your questions can be found in Living With Shiva lessons 278 and 279:

    There are two kinds of children or souls that are born on this planet and are spoken of in our Vedas and other scriptures. Some come to Earth from up down and others from down up. This means that the children who come to Earth from up down come from a place in the inner world of higher consciousness, and the children who come to Earth from down up come to Earth from a place in the inner world of lower consciousness. We call the place of higher consciousness the Devaloka and the place of lower consciousness the Narakaloka.

    It would, of course, be wonderful to think that all people in this world are on the same level -- and certainly they are in the deepest sense. But our sages and rishis, and wisdom itself, tell us that we cannot expect the same of everyone in this birth. By recognizing the differences in each soul's maturity, we also recognize the process of reincarnation, which gives us young souls and old souls.

    People ask me from time to time, from the Hindu point of view, how to curtain off the lower-nature people. My answer is that people are curtained off from each other through their beliefs and the attitudes that they hold. Believing beyond a shadow of a doubt that a person is of the lower nature and is incorrigible in this life would create the attitude of avoiding his company, not antagonizing him, and this is the best protection.

    I think these are general observations, not specific to Saivite Hinduism and should not conflict with the teachings of the Chinmaya sampradaya.

    Aum Shanti

  4. Aamba, I'm really impressed by your courage in investigating your unique religious experience, and then sharing everything online. I check in on this blog about once a week, and appreciate it every time. Thanks for writing it.

  5. Ugh. It sounds like you had a horrible experience.

    I'm sorry you had a run-in with such a nasty troll! Most of the time, ignoring them is the best way to go. Mostly they just want somebody who will rise to the bait and argue back.

    From what I can tell, you're fairly awesome, and please don't let the trolls scare you away! The trolls aren't targeting you personally; you just happen to be a convenient outlet. So keep on posting!

  6. i don't know whether others will agree with me but i find a lot of people on the internet strangely intolerant and viscous, in contrast to my daily experience.

    may be the anonymity while you interacting and the fact that there is not going to be any social repercussion bring out the worst of people.

    anyway, i suppose you better ignore such comments and feeling hurt over such things certainly giving it undue importance.

    honestly , internet initially was a revelation to me .
    in indian context, i didn't know hindus to hate muslims with such intensity and vice versa .
    (so much for hinduism is tolerant and islam is a religion of peace). i didn't know even political differences create so much hatred. more frustratingly i didn't know there are so many idiots in india.

    now, i don't get frustrated because my daily interaction with people says these sort of hate mongers are actually in minority .


  7. Thanks, guys. I really don't know how to deal with it all. I have my comments moderated now, but I still have to look at the ones that don't make it through and it makes me cry.

    I wish and I hope that people could disagree with me and discuss that disagreement without the personal insults and the swear words. How can I have a rational discussion with someone whose argument consists of, "this is what you get from a beef eater"?

    It drains me a lot. I'll try to keep going, though!

  8. If everyone could head over to the "Conversion" post, Mr. Sharma has posted a question for the Indians...Can a Christian woman who has criticized Hinduism be a sister? I have said again and again that I think yes, but he would like some other opinions.

  9. Hello Aamba, have been reading your blog regularly, your thoughts are very interesting, and about this post, people are going to say nasty stuff, they have to vent their frustration on somebody, some do it on their kids some on their sub-ordinates, some on people in the traffic, but they have one thing in common they are all frustrated and angry at something, so my suggestion is maybe you should detach yourself from such comments, i read a previous post of yours about detachment, and whether its possible and practical, well here is a way to find out, try to detach yourself from the nasty things people say, I know its not easy but thats one way to go about it maybe there are many other ways. Also I have always believed that Sanatana Dharma is Open Source anybody can edit and modify it to suit their purpose until and unless it does not interfere with others way of living, so dont worry about those who pass cheap comments about you, and even if they did they are less angry after that so consider that a favor you did to them,anyways keep updating would love to read more,hope I helped in some way.

  10. It also means that you are being taken seriousely by others which makes others insecure about you and they turn mean.

  11. Amba, Sorry that you have to face/read Trolls;personally,when ever someone is unkind to me ,or when I go through a rough patch,I consider it as reducing my negative Karma[Paapam ,as Hinduism calls it].This has helped me. I liked Tandava's explanation ,too.In a way it is similar to what Jesus said"Lord, Forgive them for they know not...."{I don't remember the full statement,naturally].Just ignore them.The fault is with them.They have to realise the wrongness of their actions.You are not alone in this. There have been Saints [even in India] who had to face the ridicule and ire of their fellow followers,who later recognised the wrong-ness of their actions.Saint Thyagaraja,Meerabai,Sri Sridhara Ayyavaal,Thukaram.Eknath,Badrachala Ramadasa come to mind.Even Shankara,Ramanuja ,Madhwa and Chaitanya Mahaprabhu faced this sort of ridicule.There might be many more in India of whom I don't know.And Many more outside Hinduism and India. This shows you are on the right path. Take strenght from this knowledge.Best Wishes.

  12. The most important thing for a hindu is to get rid of kam(lust),krodh(anger),lov(jealousy),moh(attachments). This is far more important than vegeterianism.The person who cursed you is not a hindu, he only has hatred in his heart.I am a hindu and respect all religions.But thinking humans are only the children of god is a very christian way of thinking, all living beings in the universe are children of god.......Ayan

  13. Aham, good point, I didn't think to look at it as an opportunity to practice not taking things personally. I tend to be very sensitive!

    Ela, perhaps that's it, I don't know. I don't think I'm saying anything terribly radical! They aren't new ideas, for the most part.

    Sita, it is very helpful to think of negative experiences as burning away our sanskara/karmic consequences. I like that perspective.

    Ayan, of course you are so right that everything in the universe is a child of God. As crazy as I'll sound, I also try to think of the grass as a sister, so it is any wonder that I try to think the same of Christians?

  14. When I read this I chuckle to myself. If you try to understand the infinitely infinite, the smallest of smallest which is one and the same, the Brahmam, then whatever is happening around you will not affect you. Advaita says this "The person who insults you is Brahmam and so are you. The action of insulting is just the interaction of matter within that Brahmam". So why do you worry? When you start worrying you descend into the concept of Dvaita and forget that you are part of the same Brahmam. Whenever someone insults me, I take it that it is the interaction of the different manisfestations of that "One" with each other. But, we dont understand it. There is a saying in Malayalam

    "അനന്തം അജ്ഞാതം അവര്ണനീയം ഈ ലോക ഗോളം തിരിയുന്ന മാര്ഗെ,
    അതിങ്കല് എങ്ങാണ്ട് ഒരിടത്തിരുന്ന് നോക്കുന്ന മര്ത്യന് കഥയെന്തു കണ്ടു"

    Anantham ajnatham avarna neeyam Eeloka kollam thiriynna margey
    athingil engando ridathi rinnu nokkunna marthyan katha yenthu kandu?

    This world is endless, unknown and not explainable.. it is always moving.. I am sitting in one corner of this world. What do I know?

    We are in that state... We should know that everything is one... Then no matter what problems, insults or whatever is thrown at you, you will remain as silent as a river when it reaches the sea...


  15. Raghavan, I like your point of view! You know, sometimes it can be hard to see the truth in one's own life, one is too close to make sense of something.

    It's great that I am able to post here with my fears, my questions, my concerns, and to get responses grounded in Adviata! I love it. :)

    So, obviously I am not enlightened yet, as I am sensitive and easily ruffled.

  16. I've had some trolls, too. I seriously wonder what their deal is. First of all, why do they have enough time to sit writing 1000+ word comments on my blog? Secondly, why do they really give a damn? There is one lady in particular who likes to tell me about how evil Christianity is and how my kids, who don't even exist yet, are going to be "messed up." It's what we get for baring the religious stuff in public.