Another Voice

I was going back through comments on some of the older posts here and came across this comment that I wanted to bring to everyone's attention. I think this woman illustrates really well the frustration of feeling kept out of a religion that one is drawn to:

CS said...
I found this blog while in a particularly frustrated mood about religion and ethnicity and fitting in. I am a white woman married to an Indian Hindu man, and have grown exceedingly tired and frustrated by these on-line discssions that insist that white people MUST NOT EVEN THINK of converting to Hinduism.

All the same reasons come up: we have no caste, the colonial legacy, which we, British or not, will be expected to pay for until the end of time, supposed scriptural references, we white people are all corrupt, or pretenders or looking for a cheap exotic thrill, or we don't know enough when not to enter a temple (during a woman's period)...

I get the feeling that the Indian born Hindus who insist that we stay in our places, thank you, feel a sense of smug superiority - we want something they have, and we're just not allowed because we're not good enough. We're polluting.

But I have been to India with hubby many times. And I have seen things first hand. Many things. Materialism, greed, no respect for elders, et cetera. As well as generosity, kindness, great love, acceptance. So I agree, Aamba, we are all the same.

We are all part of the human race, like it or not, and Hinduism is out there in the marketplace of ideas, and as irritated as that must make some Indian Hindus, too late. Too bad. Don't come telling us white people how wonderful your religion is, how superior, how advanced and perfected it it, and then say, "Oh no! Not for you, no way! You keep out! Respect us but DO NOT EVEN THINK OF PARKING HERE!" [emphasis added]

Am I angry? Just a little! I hate hypocrisy. And I've seen more than my fair share of late. I've tried so hard over these many years of marriage to fit in, hubby says there's no Hindu pope who says you can't be Hindu, so chill out, stop getting so worked up. And then I'm okay for a while.

But then I read or hear something and get mad all over again.

Is Hinduism for white people worth the struggle? If what you want is communal acceptance, it's dicey. If what you want is a personal, private communion with your inner self and with your conception of the Divine, then yes, it is.

Maybe our answer, as white Hindus, is to create a community for others in our position, to take what is good and pure and sacred in Hinduism that transcends race and ethnicity and caste and create a "Western Hinduism", much like western Buddhists have done.

I don't know what the solution to this is. I'm hoping that this blog will help to spread the idea to born-Hindus that there are non-Indians out there who take being a Hindu seriously.

So far you all have given wonderful, positive responses, so I am hopeful!

CS's idea of having a group of Western Hindus doesn't seem like a good solution to me personally. I feel that is what I had in my organization growing up. We had Indian philosophy with British social traditions. It isn't that they didn't work together, they do. Not surprisingly, I do believe that Vedanta philosophy is The Truth (otherwise, I wouldn't be here doing what I'm doing) and if it is a universal Truth, then it would fit any society.

They emphasize making philosophy practical and applicable to everyday life. There is little to no ritual. It is focused on questions of how to be blissfully happy and discovering our purpose for being here.

It just didn't quite work for me. It seemed like a lobotomy to strip off the Indian-ness from the Vedanta. However, that might just be me feeling very connected Indian culture. It may have to do with my own personal past lives.

I don't know where you live, CS, but you might enjoy Philosophy School's take. Here are some links for you to check out. The first link is the one I grew up belonging to and my parents are still very active there.

Advaita Meditation Center
Philosophy School New York (Also with branches in various other U.S. cities)
School of Economic Science London

Or try a group historically welcoming to the non-Indians like Chinmaya, Himalayan Academy, or ISKON.

And no matter what, hold your head up high and don't let people badger you into believing that you aren't a Hindu. Your husband is right, you already are. It's exhausting sometimes, but we are the ones who have to be visible and show over time that white people can be good and devoted Hindus. Eventually enough people will see us that it will no longer be such a strange thing.

(By the way, on the caste issue I discovered some interesting things that I'll be posting about soon.)

Options for Official Conversion

I've been getting some lovely emails from other white Hindus. It's pretty amazing how the Internet connects people and no matter how odd a path you are on, there will be others like you.

Here are some quotes from emails I've received:

There are very, very few people who talk frankly about practicing Hinduism from the non-Indian perspective, and so it's great that you're helping to fill that void...This is one of the first times I've had the opportunity to talk to someone who's gone through something vaguely similar to my own (unfinished) story,

However, as I turned 20, I started to feel more acutely the fact that I was different [from the Indians at temple]. When I was younger, I felt it too, but I could ignore it. That wasn't the case anymore. I felt like I didn't belong, and to be honest I felt a bit foolish. I felt alien, and then confused and disheartened, wondering if I would ever want to go back.

It's not as if I dislike Christianity especially, but I prefer seeing God in all things, not just in a book here or a crucifix there.

So really, Hinduism is simply the Indian version of what Christianity displaced in Europe and North Africa. In other words, it's not just for Indians, or at least it shouldn't be.

I won't lie, I would feel a lot more comfortable if there were a few other non-Indian Hindus around my way (not counting the Hare Krishnas), but it's encouraging just to know that I'm not the only one out there.

I'm also a white Hindu, having come to Sanatana Dharma after a number of years of tumultuous spiritual searching. I've identified as Hindu for only about eight months now.

It can definitely be a lonely path to travel. Sometimes I'm alright with that. Lately, not so much.

Keep writing. It's good to hear from others.

Religious conversion shouldn't be like this. Hopefully people like you and me can gradually help change some attitudes so that those who come after us have an easier time of it.

Also, there is a practical side to being an official and recognized member of a religion. What if my boss requires me to do something in opposition to my beliefs, or expects me to work on a holiday where I should spend the day in prayer and fasting? He will expect some legitimate references, not just scriptural quotations that anyone could produce. What if I want to be part of some group or gathering of Hindus? It will be predominantly, if not entirely, Indian, and I may be expected to site sampradaya, or my teacher, or at least a priest with whom I'm familiar.

I am what I describe to people as “vaguely Hindu.” I wear Western clothing, but have an Ayervedic nose ring. I am a devout yogi but I eat beef (I can’t help it, it just tastes so good, and I don’t eat pork oddly enough). And, of course, I recite the 108 Ganapati Salutations and the Ganapati Mantra.
But your blog is wonderfully written, informed, and conscious of the issues that arise on both cultural sides about conversion.

One person asked about what kind of options there are for an official conversion, so I've done some research on different movements.

First, though, here are two perspectives on Westerners from the message boards at www.HinduNet.com:

Arjun says:
February 25, 2010 at 22:27
Well in essence everyone is born a Hindu so its not about converting but it's about awakening to that realization that decides if you are a Hindu or not. Many Indian Hindus are just Hindu in name and that’s it. So Hindu Dharma is not confined to the borders of any country, region or race or even physical form…yes even the animal kingdom are Hindus on some level because they follow the Dharmic laws in accordance to their consciousness. So if you follow and feel you are a Hindu then you are and you should say it openly. These days some Hindu temples do perform ‘Shuddi’ initiation into Hinduism. so the doors are now opening for anyone who wants to become a Hindu..

#58705 - 06/10/04 06:48 PM Re: Cultural Appropriation
SevaShakti
Unfortunately, I live in a part of the U.S. where I don't know if that would even work with all people. I remember seeing a post on another thread from someone saying "I am interested in Hinduism, New Age, etc." This is typical of a lot of people in my town -- they think Hinduism, Chinese medicine, Buddhism, and all kinds of "Easternisms" are just a cool, groovy thing -- just like New Ageism. I actually heard someone at a party say once, "Buddhism isn't really a religion, it's more like a way of life." They see only the outer trappings of our religions and beliefs, like the funky South Indian temples, and the nice-smelling incense, and they think they've got it. It's like learning the postures of yoga but never grasping anything about devotion. These people think I should be flattered that Ganesh was on a lunchbox, because it just proves how cool and popular he is! And many of them are equally superficial about other things, like their country or the religion they were raised in, so they wouldn't necessarily care if someone put the flag on a pair of panties, or Jesus on a pair of shoes. In fact, I see things like that all the time around here. I would be very offended if I were extremely patriotic, or a Christian. But I feel like a person raised Christian, for example, can desecrate their own religion if they want to. I just want them to leave mine alone!

Himalayan Academy
This is the branch that our friend at Western-Hindu belongs to. They have an entire book available in hard copy or online called How to Become a Hindu.

These are the steps:
1. Begin practicing Hinduism, performing daily pujas and participating in a community with other Hindu events and rituals.
2. Write a comparison of one's former beliefs or religion to Hinduism. Discuss each promise made in another religion and when and why it was dropped. Present this document to a Hindu elder to show a true understanding of one's undertaking.
3. Sever ties with former religions. You must try to get a letter from any former pastor or rabbi, etc. saying that you have been released from your duty to their path by meeting with them in person and explaining why you are leaving and going to Hinduism. However, first you attend several of the services to see if you really want to leave this religion.
4. A legal name change to a Hindu name and that name should be used in all areas of life.
5. The namakarana samskara is performed. This is a naming ceremony. This must be done by a priest in the sect that you are joining. Also, you must inform your friends and family and have at least three witnesses to the ceremony. (Lots of details about this ceremony in the link above). A certificate will be provided which will help the individual with any times he needs proof of being a Hindu (such as for admittance to certain temples in India).
6. A three-day announcement is placed in a local newspaper telling the name and religion change of the person.

This is something the guru called "Ethical Conversion" and it seems like a great idea for any religion one is going to or from. It makes sure that a person is willingly choosing the new religion and has not been badgered into it and it requires a high level of commitment to the new religion. I think it's a great idea. The only reason I haven't done something like this is because I feel it is disrespectful to my parents to change my name. I might change my mind about that at some point, though.

ISKON
I haven't been able to find any details about how one joins ISKON (Hare Krishna). If any readers here practice it, I would love to hear from you in the comments. Please tell us how one joins, what kind of conversion process there is, etc.

ISKON does have a bit of a bad reputation. My only experiences with them have made me feel like the Western members are just Christians who basically call Jesus "Krishna." I've only had a couple of interactions, however, so I wouldn't want to judge all of them based on that alone.

Amma
Amma is a holy woman who has been touring the world and spreading a teaching of love. She seems to have many Western followers. In fact, I was a bit disappointed when I realized that the only members of the Santana-Dharma group at Ravelry.com were Amma followers. There don't seem to be any other Hindus there!

I don't know if they have any particular conversion, but I know several people spoke of meeting Amma and her giving them a Hindu name. Again, if anyone follows her teachings, I would love to have comments from you about what exactly is involved in joining.

She is called the "Hugging Saint" because she is known for hugging everyone at her talks.

Shuddi
This is something that is part of a movement called Arya Samaj, which is about returning to the Vedic roots of Hinduism and letting go of social class problems and other issues that have come up over time in society but are not part of the Vedas.

One website to learn more about them is Arya Samaj 101.

Their Shuddi is more of a reconversion, for those whose families were originally Hindu and were converted away to Islam or Christianity. It isn't clear whether a white person could undergo this ritual, but they seem to believe that Hinduism is the true religion, so that suggests to me that they would be open to more people joining.

They are working against the practice of untouchability and many Hindus converted away to other religions because they could have full status as people in the other religions. Of course, in Hinduism they should have had that, untouchability being a social construct and not part of the religion, but it is a very ingrained social construct.

I haven't been able to find anything online about what this ritual actual involves or how to do it, but I think I will write to one of the centers and ask them about it as an option for white Hindus.
*******************************************************************

There is also a really nice essay about why non-Indians should be fully allowed into the Hindu fold here: Becoming a Hindu is Easy

On this razor's edge, can I learn to dance without bleeding?

There was a time when I was a lot more on the devotional path than I am now.

In my community growing up I always felt left out because everyone was on the path of knowledge and they were all very smart and able to debate and study and understand the texts. I went much more by emotion and couldn't really defend my understandings of things. (I did really enjoy listening to the Stillman brothers talk philosophy, though. Those are some smart men!).

I focused much more on the idea that you serve a master as God without questions and with total faith. In my understanding, for a woman, that would be her husband. It is still my belief that if one serves someone with absolute devotion, the soul is purified, even if the "master" is not worthy of it.

However, the older I got, the more I noticed my intellectual side. I could not put aside my tremendous curiosity and my desire to know everything about everything. (Not that I was being asked to, it just made it difficult to simply serve). Also, modern life got in the way. I was not married. I'm still not married. I lived away from home when I went to college, so my father was not there for me to practice this on.

I'm glad I moved out for college. I learned so much about myself and became a new person. There's some poetry that I wrote during that transition that I'm going to share with you today.

Even though I've always believed that God is within us and is us and is not a separate being at all, I also understand the value of worship. It is, as my paralegal class says, like a legal fiction. Something we know is not true, but we act as though it is in order to move forward. Worship and devotion is very valuable for approaching the idea of God because it can be too much for our minds to take in that we are ourselves God. In Hinduism there is the idea of a large Self and a small self. The large Self is usually called Atman (although in Sanskrit the word atman means ones self, whether the large or the small). The large Self is who we really are and the small self is who we think we are, a collection of habits and labels held together by ignorance.

So then I found some groups that focused on devotion and I discovered that I was much more "path of knowledge" than I had realized!

The point is that I wrote some very devotional poetry. I was inspired by Mirabai. Mirabai is a poet from the 1500s. The story goes that as a child she saw a statue of Lord Krishna and was very drawn to it. She decided that he would be her lord and she wanted no one else. Nonetheless, she was married off. She was a good wife, but continued her intense devotions to Krishna. The family found it embarrassing and several plots were put in motion to murder her. Poison was put in her food, for example. And each time Krishna himself saved her. He turned the poison into honey, etc. Finally she decides to kill herself because her family is unhappy with her. She tries to throw herself into a river, but Krishna physically grabs her and brings her back. From then on she wandered streets, begging her way (as many holy people do in Indian tradition) and singing songs about Krishna. Her poetry is sensual and beautiful, speaking of Krishna as a lover and her separation from him.

These poems were all written nine years ago:

The darkest night, thick with covering,
is your hand.
The warm earth I bend to touch
is your feet.
The endless sky is your forehead.
The sunset clouds are your eyes.
The opening flower bud is your mouth.
The stars are the white splendor
of your teeth.
The small, round cloud drifting through
the sky alone
is your face as you meditate.
The cold rush of the ocean onto the sand
is your touch.
The breeze that lifts the new leaves
is your breath.
The cry of birds, shrouded in vines,
is your voice.
The leaves falling from the trees
in the deep forest is your laugh.
The honey that drips from trees
is your scent.
The planets are your necklace.
Your praise trickles from mountain streams.
The trees speak your name as I pass.
The rain on my closed windows
is the sound of your fingers tapping the door.

The idea stands between us.
It is more solid than rock
and wider than a mountain.
I am little and you are great.
I can never reach you.
The idea looms and from behind it
I hear your breath.

There is nothing real in this world.
Nothing to look at but you.
Nothing to love but you.
Shimmering shadows
are the bodies.
Your voice whispers from afar
and I leap up to follow it:
to run over fields, up hills,
through forests, across deserts.
And your voice is still distant.
Because it is muffled
though my skin.
You are in my own heart.

My soul comes free of my body
soaring and tumbling
through the sky like the sea gull.
The vast planes stretch on forever,
dotted with snow.
The rhythm of life is far away.
The sun bursts through the clouds,
called forth by the perfect mantra hum,
revealing itself and reaching out gold
to cover the earth.

Thrust to new awareness
as though my soul had lived under water all these years,
seeing through only murky water.
Suddenly the world looks different
until the river pulls me back down.

I give you this flower from my garden.
I give you the last drop of water from my hair.
I give you the mornings
and the evenings.
I give you the moments.
I offer all my sorrows and all my joys.
The greatest offering is the tear wiped off
and held trembling on the fingertip.
God accepts it
and gives the gift of liberation in turn.

There are actually 112 of these in the notebook I found!

Having the Answer

Am I desperate to prove that I know what I'm talking about? Am I desperate to prove to the world that I am a real Hindu? Whose approval am I seeking?

I was reminded by a reader this morning that it is dangerous to fall into the trap of thinking I already "know it all." A wise man says that he knows nothing and is always open to a new experience and a new understanding. Once we believe that we have the answer, then what is the reason for life anymore? How can we grow or learn if we think we already have the answer?

The audience of this blog is an interesting mix, it seems, of born Hindus either in India or of Indian descent and westerners who are interested in knowing more about Hinduism. I don't know exactly what my message is to either one of these groups. I think this blog is an explanation for my life. So that if someone on the street asks me why I am the way I am, I can point to this for answer.

Sometimes I am exhausted from explaining myself. Some things I don't know. I don't know why I long so much for a label, a community, and a place to belong. But I do think those are very human urgings. Why have I turned to India to satisfy those urges instead of something closer to me? I don't know. I'm hanging onto the only thread of culture I was given.

As usual, the issue cycles back around to approval. Who am I trying to please? The following story was posted on Western Hindu's blog and really speaks to that problem:

"A young man, returning home from French school with many diplomas, thought he knew everything. His father said, “My son, come with me. I’ll teach you about life.”

So they bought a donkey and both got on to ride. As they approach a village, they saw a crowd gathering. “Those two heartless riders are going to crush that poor beast of burden.”

“Hear that, son?” asked the father. When they had left the village, he got off and pulled the donkey by the reins, with his son still on it.

At a second village, they heard murmurs. “What a rude little boy … why won’t he let his poor old father ride?” So the son climbed down and his father got on.

At a third village, a fat woman blocked their path, yelling, “Lazy old man! How dare you force a little boy to walk in the burning sun?” So the father got off, and he walked with his son alongside the donkey.

At the last village, they were met with whispers. “Are these two crazy or what? They’re walking alongside a perfectly strong animal!”

A little farther on, they stopped in the shade of a big tree. The father says, “Well, my son, have you been paying attention? People will always have something to say about what we do. But do what you must. That’s life.”


TECHNICAL
I have been posting every day lately. I think that might be too overwhelming for people to keep up with. I am considering having set days for my posts. Every Monday and Thursday, for example. I think that might make it easier for you all as readers to know when to show up here for new musings.

Also, later today I plan to add a picture to this post. I thought you all might like to see what I typically look like.

Okay, here is the promised picture:

Issue of First Impression

This is a phrase that gets used in my paralegal studies. It means that if there is an issue before a court, you can look to previous decisions in that State to see what the outcome should be, but if this issue has never happened in your State, you have to look to other States for similar cases (ones that are "on point" with the facts of your case) and try to persuade a judge to make that ruling.

Conversion in Hinduism is, I think, an issue of first impression. We do not have guidelines of how it would work. So, we need to look at other, similar cases for guidance.

The question here is whether one should join the culture when joining the religion? This was brought up to me by a friend who reads this blog. There is some question of why I can't just practice Hinduism without "acting Indian." I personally believe that the two are so closely linked that it is not possible to separate them without losing vital parts of the religion.

Let's look for some on point cases to help us with this question.

Christianity is not a similar case. Conversion in Christianity is strongly encouraged, which is unlike the facts of our case. Also, there is no "Christian culture." It is practiced by a wide variety of people in places all over the world. The way Christianity does interact with culture is that when one converts to Christianity, one must give up any actions, cultural or otherwise, that go against the principles of the religion. This can be very strict. What ties Christians together is social many times. Worship services are always on Sundays (as far as I know). Worship always includes supplicant prayers and readings or stories from the Bible and often music. All the churches I know of include a social hour afterwards where people enjoy cookies together. If there is a Christian culture, I guess those things are it. We will not be able to take much advice of how to treat Hindu converts or how Hindu converts should behave from this.

I think Judaism is a perfect on point example. Judaism, like Hinduism, is an ethnicity as well as a religion. Conversion is not encouraged in Judaism. Traditionally people are turned away from studying toward conversion at least three times. No effort is made by Jews to bring in others. However, they do have a system in place for those times when others insist on joining.

The wikihow on converting to Judaism says "Judaism is a major commitment which will affect every part of your life, will last as long as you live, and may even transfer to your children." (emphasis added).

In order to become a Jew, you have to study the religion, history, and culture for at least a year. You have to start "living a Jewish life" according to the authority above.

At the end of the studies you will be tested and, if passing, go through a ritual bath.

Also from the wikihow page: "When one becomes a Jew, they[sic] will acquire a Jewish name."

Clearly, in converting to Judaism, it is expected that you will also integrate into the culture and be as fully integrated into it as you can.

This makes a lot of sense to me for Hinduism as well. (Not that I think intensive study and ritual will be required by everyone. There is at least one group that has this in place already, others who don't believe in conversion at all, and others who say that as long as you behave like a Hindu then you are. I don't think uniformity is going to happen there.) We wouldn't expect someone to convert to Judaism, but avoid going to a temple, or keeping kosher, or covering the hair (if Orthodox). Converts to any branch of Judaism would certainly be welcome to celebrate the holidays, have Shabbat dinners, etc. Why are we surprised by converts to Hinduism doing similar things?

I also came across this article by an Orthodox Jew about why ethnicity and race should not matter at all in the practice of Judaism: http://www.beingjewish.com/identity/race.html I think this could also be applicable.

I do think that it makes sense to integrate into the culture of one's new religion. If all you do is join a hippie American group whose leader is thirty-five and likes the Gita, then you've lost the connection to the ancient heritage. As I said to my friend, why join what is arguably the world's oldest religion and not try to connect to its tradition?

Here is a list I came across of famous converts to Hinduism. I'm sure some of these people would not have considered themselves Hindu, but simply followed Vedic philosophy, as my parents do, but others clearly labeled themselves as Hindu and some took on Indian names:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_converts_to_Hinduism

Westeners choosing different paths

I've been reading through the back posts at Western Hindu (see link in the side bar). It's very interesting because he is someone who has taken a slightly different approach to mine.

He started learning about Hinduism in part from Chinmaya, a Smarta organization, but decided to follow the Himalayan Academy instead. They follow Shaivism and I've talked about them before. They are the people behind Hinduism Today and the ones who actually have a conversion ritual for those who wish to join Hinduism. I respect them a great deal, but their philosophy is too devotional for me. It seems that the man at Western Hindu felt the opposite. That he respected Smarta, but it was not devotional enough. He writes:

"Firstly the course expounds the position of Immaterialistic Advaita Vedānta. According to this philosophy the only ultimate reality of God (or of anything) is the impersonal Brahman. They claim that the Great Gods Śiva, Viṣṇu, and Brahmā are only a deeper level of illusion, beyond the māyā of the material universe...Naturally there are some people for whom seeking God in the immaterial is the correct path, but for me bhakti or devotion to Shiva is central."

I would agree with some of that and disagree with some. First, yes, in Advaita Vedanta, the various gods are all part of the hierarchy that is only present in illusion. In reality there is only one, and we do call it Brahman, but the name is not what is important. You could call the ultimate reality Shiva if you wanted to, or Bob.

To say that Advaita is "impersonal" seems very odd to me. Yes, you don't have a "personal relationship with Shiva" (or Jesus, since that's a phrase evangelical Christians use a lot). But you don't have to because God is not some being far above you that you need to become friends with. God is inside you. God IS you. It doesn't get more personal than that.

In other of his posts I was startled to find that he makes the argument that if it were Hinduism that had spread like wildfire over the Western world, there would have been no Inquisition or other violence because Hinduism is a tolerant religion.

This seems very naive to me. On paper, Hinduism is a tolerant religion, but so is Christianity. People don't need much excuse for violence and Hinduism does include a warrior caste. There is also strong support in its scriptures for the idea of a holy war.

Sadly, Hindus have participated in bloody riots and massacres against people of different religions into the present day. Like most religions, Hinduism does have an extremist branch. Western Hindu might argue that they are misunderstanding the religion and their behavior cannot define the vast numbers of peaceful Hindus. I tend to agree, except he did criticize Christianity for saying things like “No Christian would ever do this, that or the other. The Christian Terrorists are not true Christians. The Branch Davidian [are] not true Christians. The Catholics, Westboro Baptists or whoever that you don’t agree with are not true Christians." So, I don't think we can distance ourselves from Hindu extremism for the same reason.

Some points he make that I really like are about the gross misunderstandings that Westerners tend to have about what Hinduism is about. For example, he writes:

"The average Westerner knows very little about Hinduism, especially the underlying philosophies and beliefs. They will have heard about things like the Kama Sutra and sacrificing animals to Kali and believe that these are mainstream tenets of Hinduism , because this is what the media often portrays. This a natural affect of the coverage, many people in the UK think that a US policeman will shoot a criminal at least once a week because of what they see on crime dramas, whereas I have read that it is actually a very rare occurrence.

Also “strange TV” sells, so we have seen things like a recent tv program that shown Hindu Sadhus hanging large rocks from their penises. Many people have no idea that this is alien to the average Hindu! There have been programs showing Christians handling poisonous snakes, whipping themselves until they are covered with blood, and shouting in “tongues” at scared children they believe to be possessed, but people in the West have the background knowledge to know that this does not go on in most local churches.

The end result is that many people think they know about Hinduism when what they actually know is either a marginal practice carried out by a handful of people, or is wrong. Some have such an ingrained opinion that they will even argue when they are corrected.

Also, I wanted to show that Hinduism is often seen as fair game by people who want to ridicule it, even though they won’t ridicule Christianity or Islam. This often happens because the backlash if Christians boycotted them would hurt economically, and that Muslims are perceived as a threat – though of course they suffer from the problem that minority activities are perceived as mainstream by the public too. Can you imagine someone bringing out a film called “the Love Pope” or “The Love Imam”?"

All in all, a very interesting read and I look forward to continuing to learn from his journey.

Basu brought up in a comment on the last post that there are concepts of hell in Hinduism. That is true. I was simplifying a bit when I said that there weren't. There are multiple hells and heavens in Hindu mythology, but what makes them different from the Christian idea is that these hells and heavens are temporary. Some believe that after life a soul goes to one of these to work through some of their sanskara, good or bad, before returning to be reincarnated in the world. This makes a lot more sense to me than the Christian definition and I'll turn again to the Western Hindu to explain why:

"I think that the idea of eternal hell can only make sense to people who have no concept of vastness or infinity. Even a lifetime of a century is a fleeting instant from this perspective. Judging for eternity on the basis of a single life would be like releasing mice in the middle of a room and looking at the direction of the very first step they took. Those that stepped right would be given rewards for the rest of their life. Those that stepped forwards, left or backwards would be taken and tortured for the rest of their lives."

Could not possibly have said that better myself.

One last topic for today. Yesterday we went to my boyfriend's niece's Catholic baptism. It was a bit of an odd and uncomfortable experience. I didn't want to draw attention or be contrary on a day devoted to the lovely little baby, so I wore Western dress (unusual for me these days) and I picked a decorative bindi so that it would look more like jewelry and less like a statement. No one commented on that, so I think it worked.

I was surprised that the Priest made blanket assumptions about all the people at the church. I guess that's just part of the ritual, but he had the friends and family chanting the Lord's Prayer and "reconfirming your own baptism." Why would he think we were all baptized to begin with? (I was as a baby, but that is beside the point!). We were supposed to state "I agree" to statements like "The lord Jesus is my savior" and such. I was in the front row and tried to keep my face forward so no one in his family would see that I wasn't saying any of the prayers or the agreements.

That kind of thing really makes me want to be argumentative and point out that I'm not Christian and I'm just there to support my boyfriend's wonderful and welcoming family. But I was good. I didn't say anything. Basically just for the sake of my boyfriend's sister, for whom I care very much.

Worship

I've spoken before about temples, called Mandir. Home worship is also an important part of Hinduism.

Hindu homes have shrines in them and these are often called the heart of the Hindu home.

Some go to Mandir every day, others go only to request particular things or to have a particular ritual done. These rituals are called pujas and there are simple ones that can be done at home and there are very complex ones requiring certain ingredients and mantras. There are different pujas for different occasions and for different deities.

At home the puja will usually consist of ringing a bell, lighting incense, circling a light in front of the deities (called arti), and offering fruit, flowers, and/or a mix of rice and tumeric. Sometimes the deities are bathed in water or in milk or other substances and clothed. Red kumkum powder is put on the forehead of the deity with the thumb of the right hand and the same is applied to the forehead of the devotee. Often bhajans, worship songs, will be sung or played.

A house's shrine may be an entire room, or a niche in the wall. There are small metal temples sold that one can use to house murtis (statues of the gods). The gods themselves will be ones that are connected to the region or the family. Individuals are encouraged to find a god who inspires them in particular.

I have yet to see a shrine that did not include Ganesha. He is the most beloved god and is called "the remover of obstacles." He is prayed to before starting anything new.

Puja is performed everyday. The food that was offered is shared with the members of the family. It is called prasad and is considered to be blessed. This food is consumed before any other food of the day. Also, the flowers that are offered in the puja cannot be sniffed ahead of time. The flowers' first fragrance belongs to the gods.

Tradition has it that the puja is performed at sunrise by the ladies of the household. Before it begins, they must be bathed and cleanly dressed. I will admit, I don't get up that early to do it! (Although my parents for the last thirty years have meditated for 30 minutes at every sunrise and sunset, these times of day are supposed to be filled with spiritual energy).

Cleanliness is very important in Hinduism. The right hand, considered more clean, is used for eating and for other things. Shoes are removed before entering a sacred space such as a Mandir, and because of home shrines, shoes are removed when entering a Hindu home.

Another religious practice done in the home is the blessing of new things. The home itself and big purchases like cars are blessed by a priest, who comes to the home for the ritual.

I am lucky enough in my new apartment to have a separate space for my shrine. Our one bedroom apartment came with two closets, a walk-in one and a small one. I commandeered the smaller one and set up my murtis, pictures, incense, lights, etc. I have a CD of bhajans to play. I close myself in that closet each day and perform my own simple puja.

Some different examples:










More information is available at these websites:
http://hinduism.iskcon.com/index.htm
A discussion among young American Hindus about gods and worship:
http://www.asia.si.edu/pujaonline/puja/discussion.html
I like this one because it is white people doing it!
http://noolmusic.com/utube/how_to_have_a_puja_at_home_hindus_offer_a_puja_or_worship.php
Other examples of pujas, by searching for "home puja" at YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=home+puja&aq=f


UPDATE ON LIFE:
This weekend my boyfriend and I are flying to my parents' house for my birthday. I will not be wearing my bindi. I plan to deal with that with them at my brother's graduation in May. I will, however, have the chance to practice some Hindi with my mother's Indian friends. Very excited for that.

I've started doing www.livemocha.com for Hindi learning as well. One of my friends likes it better than Rosetta Stone. I still prefer Rosetta Stone, but I think LiveMocha is a great next step. It has you write and speak exercises, which get reviewed by native speakers. For some reason, though, they feel the need to bash Rosetta Stone and that upsets me. I love Rosetta Stone so much, and I'm very protective of it! LiveMocha is free, at least for the earlier lessons.

Also, my boyfriends family has been made aware of my religion. I've heard this third hand, but apparently, after he and I left at Easter, someone asked what religion I was. His mother planned to just say she didn't know, but his stepfather jumped in to say I was Hindu. Apparently, his grandmother's eyes got huge. They have to find out eventually and probably better for them to start getting used to it now rather than later. His immediate family is very open minded about it and his mother even gave me a gift certificate to India Sari Palace for my birthday!

Luck

I don't believe in luck.

Fate, yes. Luck, no. This does not mean that there couldn't be such things as auspicious days or better times to do a particular thing, but to me karma precludes the possibility of luck. All things that happen to us are the results of our choices and our souls' needs. Nothing is left to chance.

Too often, people use this as an excuse to not help someone else. Seeing someone in a miserable situation, they might think that person deserves it and leave them to it. This is one of the reasons why unfair practices in the caste system persist. The idea is that you were born to that destitute situation for a reason and that reason must have something to do with you being a bad person in a previous life.

But, as I've said before, nothing is punishment. Everything is for learning. And we don't have any way of knowing (in most cases) what landed a person in a difficult life. It may not have been because they've done something bad, it may be because they are a very strong person and are learning to handle more and more. Like the great guru who did not try to cure his own cancer because he knew it was the only karma left that he had and once he suffered through it he would be free from the cycle of birth and death.

Even beyond the possibilities that this other person is suffering not because of something bad but because of something good, what gives us the right to judge them if it is because of something bad?

We all make mistakes. And there are consequences to those mistakes. In this world, justice is perfect (although not always swift by our standards). Maybe someone did do something unwise and is stuck with a terrible consequence. It is still for us to have compassion and to help however we can. We have all done foolish things and made mistakes.

I hate making mistakes. It is very hard for me to deal with having an imperfect life. I get upset with myself for not being perfect all the time. No matter how many times i am told that making mistakes is how we learn, I still hate it.

When I was growing up, I heard a lot of the adults around me saying that i would be spared from so many of the mistakes of their lives. They had found this fantastic philosophy and they thought, "if only I had this when I was a kid. If only my parents had taught me this from the moment I was born...what an advantage these children have." That put an enormous burden on me. I felt obligated to take advantage of my good birth and avoid these mistakes they spoke of. Of course, I didn't know what those mistakes were. For years I held my life hostage for fear of making mistakes.

From that time on I have had a fierce drive for self-improvement. As I kept hearing, life is short and it is our job as souls to find our way back to enlightenment, I wanted to fulfill that promise. This is the only thing I have ever been ambitious about in my life. I have never been driven in a career and not even much in my personal life. It has always been about finding enlightenment. To put it in terms people around me understood, I said that what I wanted to be when I grew up was a saint.

Since I wanted to make the most of my life, I tried to figure out what my soul was in this life to learn as quickly as I could so that I could get working on it.

I found this to be impossible as a child and a teenager. At that time too many things are still developing and each experience is a brand new one, so it is hard to see any pattern emerging. These things crystallize much better when we are adults.

Now I can see some of those patterns and experiences that are leading me toward being okay with some difficult things. For example, I can now see that issues of jealousy have always been present in my life and are one of the hardest things for me to face.

Jealousy obviously doesn't make any sense in the framework of my beliefs, since my soul is growing and experiencing things as it needs to to move forward and it cannot be compared to anyone else. And yet, I find myself experiencing fierce jealousy towards people who are succeeding where I feel that I'm failing. I've had protective jealousy over my close friendships. I have not had much jealousy in my relationships probably because I have always chosen men who have been rejected by other girls so that I don't have to compete.

The first step in dealing with something like this is to see it. So that's where I am now, acknowledging that it is there and practicing letting go of the negative emotions when they arise.

I still strive for enlightenment, though at a less frenetic pace then when I was a teenager. I'm better now at not criticizing myself for my failures or mistakes and to just pick myself up and keep trying.

"No day but today"

Prateek made an excellent point in the comments on the last post. I do fret too much. The great thing about this blog is that it has shown me that. I had no idea just how much worry my brain was producing until I saw it written out here.

An important part of Hinduism is to stay present because the present is truly the only thing we can effect. You may have heard the poem, "Look to this day...for yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow a vision. Today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope." (I actually saw it in a Narcotics Anonymous booklet once). It is originally a Sanskrit proverb.

It is hard to imagine not planning for the future. I think there is a line to be drawn, because some amount of forethought should go into the future, but not nearly as much as we tend to think. Tomorrow will take care of itself based on what we do today. Worry never solves anything. As much as I know that intellectually, it doesn't stop me from worrying excessively.

Logically we can see there is no point to worry. The only time to create action or change is in the current moment. When people present me with scenarios of what-ifs I can't answer them because I can only know what I will do in a particular situation when it is in front of me. There is an idea in Hinduism that when you are fully present and a dilemma arises, you will naturally know what the right thing for that moment is.

Most of the time I trust deeply in that. I don't plan the future much. My worries about offending people are the only real jumps into the future, because until someone actually tells me outright, in the moment, that they are upset by something I am doing, then it is just a hypothetical and dwelling on it does no good.

It is the past I have trouble with and that makes even less sense. The past is done and cannot be changed, and yet I am plagued with some regret and some wondering how things would be different if I had made different choices. Obviously this is counter-productive! I'm not sure how to stop, though, as even my sub-conscious gets in on the act. I have frequent dreams about an emotionally abusive ex-fiancée and the nights I don't dream of him, I dream about my dear friend who was killed in a car accident recently. My mind refuses to be at peace.

And that is why Hinduism emphasizes training the mind through meditation and other disciplines. We should be in control of our minds because we are the boss and the mind is our servant. I'll have to wait for another post to explain what I mean by the personal pronoun here. After all, if we are not our minds, what are we?

But, the point today is, only now can be changed and the choices we make in the now are what creates our fate.

Good and Evil

I was looking back through posts for things I have promised to talk about and this is a big one to tackle. The Hindu view on good and evil is exceptionally different. (Again, different Hindus do believe slightly different things, and I cannot speak for everyone).

As I spoke about in the reincarnation post, this world is an illusion and we play parts in it like it's a movie. It's like being in a dream that you believe is real, but when you wake up, it is to a better and more real world. The illusion of the world is called maya.

Within maya, good and evil exist and both are necessary. It is not possible to have a purely good world because there would be no momentum. There have to be different ideas and different points of view pushing against each other for the drama of the play to keep going.

That is all part of this play, but the reality is unity. Beyond all dualities, all good and evil, is just being. Pure being is God. There are no qualifications on it, no adjectives to describe it, it is all things at all times.

In reality, good and evil do not exist.

It is all bliss.

Anyone ever watch Dark Angel? Remember the character who always said, "It's all good, all of the time"? That's sort-of the truth. It's all right might be a better way to say it. Good is a concept that requires evil to define it, so really neither is there. Things are not good or bad, they simply are.

You will find this idea in many stories about perspective. Remember the one about the king's son who breaks his leg? He's very upset and it is seen as a bad thing until a war starts and the son is spared having to fight and probably be killed because of the leg and then it is seen as a good thing. The same action can easily be seen as both a good thing and a bad thing depending on who is doing the classifying (optimist or pessimist), but without a human being putting a label on it, what is it? It just is.

Remember Hamlet saying, "There is nothing good nor bad but thinking makes it so"?

Because of karma (or sanskara), nothing happens without a reason. The entire world is perfectly balanced in justice. This is a very comforting thing to believe and it makes me a much calmer person than I would be without it (for example, I don't have to get worked up about that lunatic who just cut me off on the highway, I can trust that he'll get the natural consequence of his action at some point. No one gets away with anything.) Again, as stated in the post on reincarnation, rebirth is never a punishment and karma is not about punishment, it is about learning. And despite this, you will hear Indian mothers wailing, "What terrible thing have I done in a past life to deserve this?" I'll have to do a post about superstition soon.

Everything is exactly as it is supposed to be. I know that that is a difficult idea to swallow. You think of horrible things that have been done over the course of history. How could that not be evil?

Well, what was it that was done? Someone killed people. Is death evil? Is death even bad? Not really. It happens to all of us and it is a very natural part of life. Again, this goes hand in hand with the belief in karma and reincarnation because with those beliefs, death is never tragic. A child who dies will be reborn to live another life and nothing that her soul learned will be lost.

Pain and suffering. Even if death isn't evil, these must be, right? Again, not really. These are parts of the experience of living in this world of maya and they can help the soul to grow. Also, if one is in tune with the bigger reality outside the illusion, one can disconnect from the body in such a way that no pain is felt (I have managed this once myself, but it is far from easy!).

This may sound like the philosophy of someone who has not suffered pain or loss, but I assure you that is not true. I have lost dear friends to death and I maintain my firm belief that there is no such thing as evil.

One of the ancient vedic prayers that my mother used to sing to me translates as follows:

That is perfect, this is perfect,
perfect comes from perfect.
Take perfect from perfect, the remainder is perfect.

Purnamada, purnamedam
Purnaat, purnamudachyate
Purnasya, purnamadaya
purnamewa washishyate

Everything is as it should be and there is no reason to fear.

Reincarnation

One of my friends sometimes mentions that the problem he has with people believing in reincarnation is that they always think that they were someone really special. Where, he asks, are all the normal people? Not everyone could have been Cleopatra!

He has a point. I have never seen reincarnation that way, and I didn't realize how that does seem to be the way many take it. Maybe that is us tapping into a desire to be special, to be more than our simple selves.

But we are already special. In my beliefs, we are God. There's nothing more special than that!

I don't dwell much on what I may have been in a past life. It is enough for me to know that the choices I made in the past have led me to this life. Every challenge I face here is indicative of the things my soul still needs to learn.

Reincarnation is never a punishment. It's not that you get reborn as a cockroach because you were a nasty person. Every birth is the chance to learn things that will help your soul move toward the goal of unity with God. And if you miss the lesson, make the wrong choice, you'll keep getting chances to get it right. They say that the lessons will keep getting more and more intense, which is why some people have great difficulties to overcome in life. They may have missed the smaller version of that lesson.

Or maybe there's another reason. It is not for us to know someone else's spiritual journey. There was a great guru who got cancer,and his disciples asked him why he didn't just cure his cancer, since he was a very accomplished holy man. He told them that it was part of his karma to experience that pain.

From the time I was a child I have kept my eyes open to what lessons I might be here to learn in this lifetime. I'm rather ambitious and I really want to make good progress in this short life. (According to tradition, in the womb we make promises to find our way back to God. I take promises very seriously, even ones I don't remember making!).

I don't put much stock in past life regression techniques. Partly because we are not really meant to remember our past lives (if we were then we would). Dwelling on the past can really hurt our forward momentum. And partly because I don't believe that people can know their past lives unless they are extremely accomplished holy men/women. But there are plenty of people who do believe in these techniques and that is fine. Everyone has his own journey to take.

My only thoughts about my past lives are thinking about the personality I had when I was born and the behaviors that were natural in me. I vaguely wonder what may have happened to me that made me afraid of this thing or that thing. But my focus is on moving forward.

There are disagreements about how easy it is to get a human embodiment. In my tradition it is very rare. You really have to earn it. This is because our tradition says that a human embodiment is the only one from which you can become aware of your true self and that is the goal of life. Having a human life is a great honor and should not be squandered. That's what I've been told.

Sometimes you see people who behave in such a base and almost animalistic way. My Dad always told me that these people were probably new to human embodiments and were used to being animals. It takes time to adjust.

Karma plays a big role in all of this. I want to discuss karma for a moment because it is a word that gets slightly misused. It actually means "action." Nothing more. Our karma is our action. The consequences of those actions are seeds in our souls that manifest later in this life or in next lives. Those seeds are called sanskara. It is our sanskara that shapes our fate.

Sometimes people have advised that the way to break the cycle of birth and death and to free ourselves from sanskara is to stop action altogether. But in the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna advises that it is not possible to stop all action. Our bodies will still breathe and metabolize, etc. He says that it is possible to stop sanskara from attaching to our karma. That way we can die cleanly, without leftover seeds to be expressed. The way to do this is to perform action as needed, in the moment, with no attachment to the outcome. Doing the right thing without the desire or need for praise or other good things to come to us. Now that could take several lifetimes of practice!

Sometimes people think that those believe in reincarnation are just afraid to die and latching onto any idea that will let them think they won't die. My teachers taught me that there is a reason why people are so afraid to die. Some part of us knows that we are immortal. Our bodies are just instruments and we go through lots of them, but there is a soul that is who we really are and that never dies.

Reincarnation could go on and on forever. Most Hindu traditions teach that at some point everyone will attain the goal of unity with God. Why would we want to do that?

For all the Dr. Who fans, I think one of the episodes did a nice job showing this. In the Library episode, Donna starts living a life that isn't real. She thinks it's real. She forgets who she really is and what her real life is and goes along with the fake world around her. Only in dreams and corners of her mind she sometimes gets glimpses of her real life. Tradition teaches that this is the same with us. We are living in a dream right now. We're really enjoying it and we think it's real. We're afraid to wake up because we don't know that our real life away from the dream is much, much better.

As one Chinese philosopher put it, "Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."

I've been told that reincarnation has existed in all the major world religions. There was a rumor that went around my organization that early Christianity had reincarnation, but it was removed at one of the early church councils because it challenged the authority of the church. I have not found any evidence that this is true, but I also haven't looked too hard.

A Jewish friend of mine once attended an interesting talk by a rabbi who claimed that Judaism had reincarnation in it. His argument was a bit of a stretch, but fascinating. He claimed that because the Torah requires people to perform six hundred and some mizvot (good deeds), it is not possible to complete all in one lifetime, so reincarnation must have been assumed.

I don't see any contradiction, anyway, between a belief in reincarnation, and a belief in the classic religions of the book (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam). There are many different ways to express a belief in reincarnation. To me it solves one of the fundamental difficulties of our understanding of the world.

Why do bad things happen to good people? I don't mean to say that bad things happen because this person was a bad person in another life and they deserve what they get, not at all. As I said before, things that happen are never a punishment, they are always for the betterment of the soul. There is something to be gained from that experience.

Why do young, innocent children die? They already accomplished what they needed to in this life. With a belief in reincarnation, death is no longer the worst thing that can happen. It just is. It's part of life and nothing important actually ends at death.

How could a just God allow people who die unbaptized or unsaved to go to hell? There is no hell in Hinduism (beyond what we do to ourselves in our lives...our thoughts in many ways create our reality because everything depends on our perspective). There is no proselytizing or converting in Hinduism because there is always another chance. Even if you believe that Hinduism is the only path to God (which most do not believe, as I said previously there is the idea in Hinduism that there are many valid paths to God), in another lifetime you would be born Hindu. Simple as that.

Some people are pessimists and that shows up in laments like, "What have I done in a past life to deserve this?" That, to me, is a misunderstanding of how this works. Focus on what can be gained or learned from whatever difficulty you are going through. It can only make your soul stronger and better.

Hindu/Indian things I don't do

Miss. Mouse's motto in the comments on the last post: "Do whatever makes YOU happy and the hell with what everyone else thinks" is becoming quite true for me as well. On the one hand, I agree with my mom that I don't want to be making people unhappy on purpose. On the other hand, people are going to be offended no matter what. There are people who disagree on whether Mother Theresa was a good person, for goodness sake. No matter what you do, everyone has their own take on it. There are people my age who are offended by how old fashioned I am, my lack of feminism. That's just life.

Anyway, on to the point of this post.

There are aspects of Hinduism and/or Indian social customs that I do not follow. I am aware of them and I am making a conscious decision that they do not fit into my belief system. Part of having a religion is being able to use it to accomplish what you need it to in your life, so I don't think it is a good idea to take an entire faith system and go with it no matter what. Some people might call that having faith, but understanding why I do something is very important to me. I love tradition, but only if there is a meaning and a reason behind the tradition. I am not going to do it "just because."

Astrology
Astrology is very important in India. Before getting married, a bride and groom (or their families) will usually have their charts drawn up and compared. They also use astrology to determine an auspicious day to get married. There are many things that one has to find auspicious days for.

I am not a particularly superstitious person and I don't believe in luck. To me, karma negates the possibility of luck. Not everyone sees it that way. (More on karma another time). Of course, auspicious and lucky might not be exactly the same thing.

I can understand how people can believe that the stars drive fate and I think this is one instance where American culture is more strong in me. I do believe that we make our fate ourselves (perhaps partly due to choices made in a past life). In my belief system, nothing fated is completely inevitable. In the present moment, one always has a choice. I do think there are things that are fated to happen to us, but how we interpret those things is completely up to us and that is what sets the course for the next fated thing. There is a fluidity to fate in my understanding and the idea of fates being pre-written in the stars does not mesh with that.

Vegetarianism
This is a major one. A vast majority of Hindus are vegetarian and even those that eat fish, chicken, or even lamb, would not eat beef.

Here in America it can be so hard to understand not eating beef, it just seems so weird. I explain to people to think of it the way we think of Koreans eating dog meat. I don't even know if that is true or not, but it is a common enough legend in America. The way we feel about the idea of eating dogs is the same way Indians feel about the idea of eating cows.

Cows in India are not worshiped per se, but they are sacred. Actually, all life is sacred, but cows get special status for a couple of reasons. They are frequently used as an image to represent the mother, since they provide so much without their meat. They give milk and cheese and butter. Also, they are said to be the favorite animal of Krishna, who was a cow herder in his teenage years.

Many Hindus are vegetarian because of the doctrine of ahimsa, which means non-harmfulness. This is a major part of Ghandi-ji's message and a driving force in Buddhism. It is also present in Hinduism. Krishna lists "ahimsa" as one of the qualities of a perfect man.

My parents do not eat red meat and only my mom eats chicken. They don't do it for ahimsa, but because the digestion of heavy red meats is said to be detrimental to meditation.

For two years in college I was a vegetarian. I stopped because it became impractical. The men I date have never been vegetarian and I end up cooking for them, also I never had a good reason for it. People would ask me why I was vegetarian and I really had nothing to say.

Again, I don't think it's enough for me to say, "I am Hindu, therefore I don't eat beef." The reasons for not eating beef are not compelling for me. I think it's part of the natural cycle of birth and death that humans eat meat and I don't think the cow is an exception. For me it would have to be either all or nothing.

I feel very self-conscious about eating beef. It is difficult for me to claim to be a Hindu, yet eat hamburgers.

UPDATE: I stopped eating meat May 2010 (so two months after this post), but I'm still eating eggs.

Others
I don't always eat with my right hand. In India it is very rude to eat with the left hand because that is supposed to be the hand you wipe yourself with when you use the bathroom. The only time I consciously eat with my right hand is when I am in Indian restaurants.

I point. Pointing a finger at someone in India is also very rude. This one is just a habit that I would like to break, but pointing is a sub-conscious gesture at this time.

Those are all I can think of at the moment.

Polytheism and Branches

Hinduism is not just one thing. It is a word that is used to capture the practices of a billion people, some of them living in cities, some in villages, some very well educated, others never going to school at all. To most people who practice it, Hinduism is not a religion, it's not something you do, it's a way of life, it's something that is just a part of you.

The Indian word for it is Sanatana Dharma. It is usually translated as "The Eternal Truth." Dharma is a complicated word. It means much more than Truth. It also means justice, balance, the perfect order.

There are four major branches of Hinduism, but all four share some characteristics. According to Hinduism Today's magazine special "What is Hinduism?", the following are the parts that all branches have in common:

"All Hindus worship one Supreme Reality, though they call it by many names...Hindus believe that there is no eternal hell, no damnation. They concur that there is no intrinsic evil. All is good. All is God...a Supreme Being who both is form and pervades form, who creates, sustains and destroys the universe only to recreate it again in unending cycles. Hindus accept all genuine spiritual paths. Each soul is free to find his own way...Hinduism explains that the soul reincarnates until all karmas are resolved and God Realization is attained."

Another time I will go into the concept of good and evil in Hinduism. Also, I will explain the "idol worship." For now, the part that I think may stand out to people not familiar with the religion is the worship of one God.

There are hundreds, maybe thousands of Gods in Hinduism. However, they are viewed one of two ways. Some believe that the myths and stories and different Gods are a way to comprehend a God who is too vast for the human mind to grasp. Each different God represents a quality of the God who is all things. Others view the Gods like angels (in fact I would argue that the translation of the word into "god" is not necessarily accurate). These people see the Gods as a form of life somewhere above us but below the Supreme Reality, as Hinduism Today calls it. "Above us" might not be an accurate way to say it. Being a God is a lifetime like any other and it comes to an end at some point.

Tradition holds that only humans can realize the truth and become enlightened. All other embodiments are there to teach our souls something to help us progress toward that goal, but only a human has the conscious awareness to realize himself.

So, in Hinduism the answer to the philosophical question, "Why am I here?" is that every soul is living life in order to remember who he truly is, that he is God. God is all things. The story goes that God wanted to experience all emotions and all things, so he broke himself into many parts and created the drama of the world. Shakespeare's "All the world's a stage and men and women merely players, they have their entrances and their exits..." becomes literal truth. The world is a play and we all have parts, but in the end we will take off our costumes and go back to the reality of Oneness. (I have always analogized this by thinking of molecules. Every piece of matter in the universe is made of essentially exactly the same building blocks.)

I have no doubt that in some remote villages, the people do practice polytheism, but in the scriptures and all the sayings of the holy men and women, Hinduism is monotheistic.

There is so much to say about this vast and ancient religion that I could go on forever, but I've promised an overview of the major branches. Again, quoted from the founders of Hinduism Today:

"Saivism

Saivite Hindus worship the Supreme God as Siva, the Compassionate One. Saivites esteem self discipline and philosophy and follow a satguru. They worship in the temple and practice yoga, striving to be one with Siva within.

Shaktism

Shaktas worship the Supreme as the Divine Mother, Shakti or Devi. She has many forms. Some are gentle, some are fierce. Shaktas use chants, real magic, holy diagrams, yoga and rituals to call forth cosmic forces and awaken the great kundalini power within the spine.

Vaishnavism

Vaishnavites worship the Supreme as Lord Vishnu and His incarnations, especially Krishna and Rama. Vaishnavites are mainly dualistic. They are deeply devotional. Their religion is rich in saints, temples and scriptures.

Smartism

Smartas worship the Supreme in one of six forms: Ganesha, Siva, Sakti, Vishnu, Surya and Skanda. Because they accept all the major Hindu Gods, they are known as liberal or nonsectarian. They follow a philosophical, meditative path, emphasizing man's oneness with God through understanding."

My branch, Advaita Vedanta, is a form of Smartism. It is less about devotion and worship, and more about study and learning. It's principles are based almost entirely on the teachings of Shankar, an Indian philosopher from the 9th century. He wrote commentaries on all of the major Hindu texts. There are now four "Shankaracharyas" in India, meaning teachers of Shankar. It is from one of these teachers that my organization growing up got its teachings. My parents also follow one of these teachers and have been to India to meet him. The word "Advaita" means "Non-duality" and that was the main focus of Shankara's teachings. (The word "vedanta" means "philosophy.")

The other day I was driving somewhere and got a little lost. I used to get lost all the time, but now I have a GPS, so I only get slightly lost! I drove right by a Hari Krishna center.

Now there is a group of Hindus that do practice conversion and are, I believe, mostly white. If only I could fit in there!

But their branch is vaishnavism, which, as stated above, is more dualistic than other branches of Hinduism. They are, in my view, much closer to Christians. They see God as something outside themselves, something to be worshiped and adored. This belief does not fit with my beliefs at all, so sadly, there is no place for me there.

On a completely different note, it is so clear to me where I get my worry about offending people. I live under a cloud of it because every time I do anything, my mother convinces me that I'm upsetting someone. Yesterday it was about a doll that I knit.



On the knitting website Ravelry I am in a group for South Asian Knitters. Someone there suggested the pattern for this doll as a project that we all do. I started first because I loved the pattern so much and I couldn't wait to make it. I shared it with the group and lots of people told me how cute it was.

My dad showed my mom a picture of it from flickr and she called to tell me that if any Indians saw it, they would be offended by her skin color.

I swear, I can't make a single move without my mom calling to tell me that I'm offending people.

Oh, and by the way, the book "The Everything Hinduism Book" (as in from the series of books called "The Everything..."), is a really good one. It has the history of Hinduism, major figures, the religions that broke off of it (like Buddhism, for example), as well as the philosophical teachings. I was really impressed by how much information it has in it.

Religion vs Culture

A woman on a religious message board I am on asked me about something she has observed, which is that there seem to be two different types of Hindus--the Indian and Indian Americans who grew up with it and then the others who are very into the philosophy. She points out that those raised in the faith tend to do the rituals and the holidays, while the others are into theology and philosophy, but don't seem to participate in any group worship, taking it as a solitary practice. The two groups do not seem to integrate at all.

She asked me my take on this phenomenon and I think it is exactly the bridge that I have been trying to cross.

My response to her was that I thought the young adults who discovered Indian philosophy forty years ago were not interested in finding another dogma and another old tradition. They wanted something fresh and new and to get away from traditional religion. They took the philosophy, but left behind the traditions.

I want both. I don't like the feeling of practicing a religion in a vacuum. Part of me is stunned that my parents did not see this coming. They taught me to believe in so many Indian concepts, but they never thought I would want to adopt the entire culture. Which makes me wonder if I could just take the philosophy and leave the rest.

After all, I do not know of anyone else who grew up in my community who has gone the direction I have gone. Even my own brother leans more Christian than Hindu. The people I grew up with are either Christian or Jewish. Many of them never saw our organization as a religion. I always did. Because I didn't have anything else.

I think part of that is just the personality that I was born with. Ritual and devotion has always appealed to me along with knowledge and study. I was a deeply religious child, but I didn't know how to channel that.

I did join an evangelical Christian group in college and I tried to make myself fit in there (particularly since I fell deeply in love with one of the boys there). But there were certain fundamental aspects of being a Christian that I just kept banging my head against. I could not accept them. Things such as God being a separate being from us, the idea of heaven and hell with no reincarnation, devotion being the only way to be close to God, and others. Again and again I just kept coming back to the foundation of my beliefs being Hindu.

All of my life I have longed for a community, a feeling of belonging. I envied my best friend who is Jewish because the Jewish community is so strong and dedicated. I never fit in, even within the organization I grew up in. I took things more seriously than other people. Through no one's fault, my memories of my childhood are filled with an overwhelming sense of loneliness and the desire to belong.

And yet I was never to make myself into the kind of person who would belong with the people around me. Maybe a latent stubbornness in me, I don't know.

So the point is that I want it all. I do not want to extract the philosophy from a religion that is quite possibly the oldest in the world. I want to be accepted as I am. Maybe too much to hope for.

I want to clarify here that I love being American. I do not wish to be otherwise. Being American leaves me unfettered by social expectations. Our belief in the freedom of each individual to follow her own path is what makes this country what it is. Being American is what allows me to pursue this path I am on.

I have never been to India. I don't know how to explain that I feel deeply that I know India. I understand its pulse. I believe that I lived there in another life, as loopy and stupid as that sounds. I am not one of these people who thinks that India is this magical land of religion. I know sometimes people have the tendency to think that everyone in China knows kung-fu and quotes Lau-tzu all day and that people in India are free from material desires and meditate under trees all the time (or else sing and dance in the streets!). I have no such illusion.

I understand that it is a place like any other, and that people are people no matter where you go. By that I mean that there is a percentage of people in India who are deeply religious, just as in America and anywhere else in the world. There is also a percentage who are motivated by social standards and competing with neighbors, and a percentage who use the idea of religion for personal gain, etc., etc. These things happen everywhere.

When the movie Slumdog Millionaire came out, some people I knew told me that when I saw it it would change my opinion of India, that I wouldn't like it so much anymore. That's plain crazy. I am not unaware of social problems in India. I am not unaware of its weaknesses and its strength or its variety. I love it because everything I see of it and everything I hear of it makes me feel at home deep in my heart.

Someday soon I hope to visit and see the battle field of Kurukshetra from the Mahabharata, and the city of Ayodhya from the Ramayana. And just experience the plain, every day magic of it.

Stories and Bindi Update

Here is my favorite story:

There was a man who wanted to become enlightened/one with God. He meditated under a pine tree (just picking a type of tree with a lot of needles here, it wasn't actually a pine tree in the story) with great devotion. After years of meditation, God took pity on him and sent a messenger to answer a question for him. The messenger of God came and asked the man what question he would like answered. The man said, "How long until I am enlightened?"

The messenger relayed the question to God, who answered, "Do you see the number of needles on this tree? It is that many lifetimes you will go through before you are enlightened."

The man got up and danced with joy. The messenger looked at him, astonished, and asked, "Why are you celebrating when God has told you it is so many lifetimes away from you?"

The man said, "Because the number is finite."

And at that moment he became enlightened.

*************************************************************************************
In Hinduism, the goal of life is to become one with God. Really, we already are, but we just have to discover it. This is called Samadhi. Unlike Buddhism, in which the end is nothingness, in Hinduism the end is everythingness. Every lifetime we live is in pursuit of this unity. Sometimes in our ignorance, we try to find unity in other things, not knowing the way back to our true selves. When I was sixteen I was in a sort-of confirmation ceremony to reaffirm vows that, according to tradition, I made in the womb. That we all made in the womb. One of those vows is to find our way back to God. Another is to obey the natural laws of the universe.
*************************************************************************************

Another story along the same line is that of the lion who thought he was a sheep. Disney actually made a cartoon of this story years ago and I had it on video when I was a kid.

There was a lion cub who was lost by his pack and ended up growing up in a pack of sheep. In the Disney movie his name is Lambert. Because he had never seen another lion, he believed he was a sheep. He behaved like one and sounded like one. He had never roared. The sheep were his family and he did not know he was different.

One day another lion saw the pack of sheep and attacked. At first Lambert cowered with the other sheep, but his desire to protect his family woke something up in him. For the first time in his life, he roared, and became the lion he really had always been. He scared the other lion away.
*************************************************************************************
The "lesson" of this story is that we are all lions who think we are sheep.
*************************************************************************************
The next story is one that I was told when I was being taught to be a "perfect" wife. I'm not at all sure I agree anymore with its message!

There was a wise man who was deeply devoted to his work. He studied and he wrote night and day. So that his writing would not be interrupted, his wife brought him food silently and also kept his oil lamp burning.

One day she was late and the light went out. The man was roused from his study and looked around him with surprise. The wife came in and apologized for the lamp going out and the man said to her, "Who are you?"

She told him that she was his wife. He was so grateful for her devoted service that he dedicated his book to her.
*************************************************************************************

Oh, here's another great one. Another of my favorites.

There was a man who tended a temple in south India. He dreamed that the statue of the God was asking him to bring it water from the mouth of the Ganges.

So the man took an arduous journey, walking all the way from south India to the mouth of the Ganges in the far north. When he finally got there, he scooped the water into a pail and started the walk back.

On the way, laying on the side of the road, he came upon a donkey who was almost passed out from thirst. The animal was dying.

Instantly the man used the pail of water to revive the donkey.

When he got back to the temple, his fellow caretakers could not believe that he would waste the sacred water on a donkey. They asked what happened.

He said, "God was kind enough to meet me halfway."
*************************************************************************************
In Hindu philosophy, particularly my branch, all things are God. There is no duality. Just as all the variety of things in the universe are made up of the same basic molecules, so everything is different forms of one God. This is the reason why the doctrine of Ahimsa (non-harmfulness or non-violence) is so important. This is why most Hindus are vegetarian.
*************************************************************************************

One more story illustrating this point:

Once there was a man who took a picnic lunch out to a field. A wild dog ran by and grabbed his bread. The man got up and ran after the dog, shouting, "My lord, my lord, you forgot the butter!"
*************************************************************************************

I'll post more stories as I remember them.

UPDATE ON BINDI
I have been wearing my bindi every day this week.

I had a very hard time finding someplace that sold plain, every day bindis. Finally I found www.indybindi.com and they had a variety of colors and sizes, as well as fancy bindi.

At first I bought several packs of red (before I decided to go with black) and I bought the smallest size they had. I was not prepared for just how small that is. I think it looks more like a bug landed on my face than a bindi!


However, the very small size, has made me more comfortable wearing it, feeling that it is subtle. I have worn this size to work.

From the same website I ordered my black ones in a slightly larger size.


I have worn it to school, the bank, the library, the post office. I've only had a comment by one co-worker who liked it. He said, "Is this bindi thing an every day thing?" I said, "Yeah, I'm trying it out, just getting started." He told me that he had lots of fancy ones that he stuck on his face for parties.

I realized also that most people are probably noticing more the dent on my face than my bindi! In the pictures it looks like a dimple on my left cheek, but in person you can see more a dent and a bump. It's a cyst that left a noticeable scar. I forget that it's there and sometimes people ask about it and I'm always surprised to remember it's there.

Today at the library, I was wearing a full salwar suit and my smaller bindi. Wouldn't you know, the girl who checked me out was Indian. She was also wearing a salwar suit. She said, "I notice you're wearing Indian clothes."

I said, "Yes. As are you. Very lovely."

That was it. I have no succinct explanation to offer to curious people. I'm not sure what I should say when Indian people actually ask me outright about what I'm wearing. She didn't phrase as a question, so I gave no explanation at all.

Also, I discovered to my delight that the library (this was my first time there), has Hindi books!

Books

For today I'm going to go back to talking about the religion as opposed to the culture.

Hinduism does not have a single go-to book. It also does not have a central prophet or creator of the religion. At some point I will have a post about the main branches of Hinduism, but today I wanted to talk about the holy texts.

Hindu tradition is packed with wonderful books and philosophical ponderings that question and examine the purpose of life and the meaning of death. These texts are thousands of years old and yet a person reading them today can still be completely at home with their profound messages.

There are the two great epic stories, the Mahabharata and the Ramayana. They are a source of a lot of the mythology in Indian life. The Ramayana is the life story of Rama, who is believed by many to be a god. The most common view of Rama is that he is an avatar, an incarnation of god on earth for a particular purpose (which is the same as the view of Jesus). Rama's life is a template for living a life of perfect devotion to duty and his wife, Sita, is the model for all Hindu wives.

The Mahabharata is about a tremendous war that pulled the world into the last age. As in Greek mythology, there are four ages of the earth. The final one is the Kali Yuga. This is the time that we are now living in according to Hindu mythology.

Part of the Mahabharata is the Bhaghavad Gita. This might be the most famous of the Indian texts. It means "Song of the Lord" and it is the advice that Krishna gives to the warrior Arjuna just before the battle. Krishna, of course, comes into play in many Indian stories and books. He is a side character in this story. He is also an avatar of god. The Gita (as it is known for short) is packed full of profound philosophical meaning. A couple of the key points are that death is an illusion and that action that is performed without desire for the fruits will not have karmic consequence. The purpose of life is to free ones self from the cycle of birth and death and become one with god. It is our karma (actions) that keep us chained to our human lives.

There are also a number of even more ancient books called The Upanishads. One of my favorites of these is the Katha Upanishad, in which a young boy goes to visit the house of Yama, the god of death, and understand why death exists.

All of these texts are written in Sanskrit. (By the way, that "a" is pronounced like the "a" in "father", not like the "a" in "alligator." That second sound does not exist in Sanskrit and it is a great irony that the American way of pronouncing the word includes a sound that is not present in that language. In general, you're pretty safe if you use a long "a" for Indian words).

My community growing up, and I'm sure many people in India, believe that Sanskrit was the first language. Historically speaking there is a lot of evidence that it wasn't, but that doesn't stop anyone from believing it. According to tradition, the laws of the universe can be found in the laws of Sanskrit grammar.

My mother and father have studied Sanskrit for thirty years now. The dining room table is scattered with giant dictionaries and grammar books and snip-its of the Gita and the Upanishads.

It is a very beautiful language. I learned the characters of the alphabet as a child and also several of the Vedic prayers, which are prayers found in the opening pages of most of the Upanishads.

One prayer is the following:
Asato ma sad gamaya
tamaso ma jyotir gamaya
mritur ma amritang gamaya
om shanti, shanti, shanti

It means:
Lead me from the unreal to the real
Lead me from the darkness to the light
Lead me from death to immortality
May peace and peace and peace be everywhere

That last line is the ending to nearly all Vedic prayers and it is a loose translation. Really it is "om", which is the sound which is supposed to have begun the universe, the very first sound from which all others arise. And then the word for "peace" three times. Probably you have heard the word "Shanti" before and that is what it means.

Learning that alphabet as a child has been a big advantage for me in learning Hindi because it is almost identical. The script is called Devanagari, which means "city of the gods." Many Indian languages use this script or a variation of it, although some do not.

This is a taste of some of the great richness that has drawn me to this religion. It is easy to find translations of many of these texts and I highly recommend the translations done by a man named Eknath Easwaran. Give them a try, I think you'll really enjoy them, regardless of your religion.