Reading the message boards again I hit an interesting comment that gave me new insight on why my life might be a problem. Someone mentioned that some Indians see white Hindus as a seal of approval on Hinduism, as though the West has to give it credibility before it is taken seriously.
That is a terrible shame. I wouldn't want to make it seem like anyone needs my permission to practice his religion! I don't know why so much authority is given to Americans, to whites, to those in the West. Perhaps it is simply respect for the economic success the West has seen. That is not an area I know much about. For a book club I've been reading a book called "The White Tiger" and it has some very disturbing things to say about politics and economics in India right now. On that, I am no authority.
I do not come to Hinduism to take it over or to make it better. I come to bow at the feet of an Indian guru (namely, Adi Shankara and the Shankaracharyas who continue his teachings).
I don't think we need to go back to the bitterness of the debate about the "Aryan invasion." Regardless of that situation, I would say that it was not white people who built this religion. The great philosophizing in the ancient writings are from brown people. Krishna, whose words I value above all others, has a name meaning "dark."
This religion fully belongs to non-whites and I do not come to try to take it away. I want only to blend seamlessly into the masses of people who live their lives based on the Upanishads and the Gita and who call out to Shiva and to Rama for help understanding this world.
Hinduism does not belong to me, but I belong to it.