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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Throwing the Baby Out

Such a strange expression, throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but that is what I am thinking about today.

This past weekend a friend came over and we watched a movie he likes called The Peaceful Warrior. It is very philosophical, all about how to control our minds and bodies, staying present, the joy of the present moment, that happiness is not found in achievements (i.e., "If I just had this one thing, then I could be happy").

As much as I agree with everything, the whole time we were watching it, my insides were screaming, "I'm not going back into that cage."

I am very resistant to discipline these days.

I was talking to another friend recently, someone with whom I grew up, so having the same background as me. He pointed out some interesting things about our upbringing. For one, something I never thought of before, is that a lot of the discipline that we grew up with was masculine in nature. It was about control over one's emotions and being stoic and immovable.

There is value in those disciplines, but there is also value in the feminine side and that part got left out.

He described the inner being as a marriage between a masculine and a feminine side, we are all always working at keeping a harmonious balance between them within ourselves.

Right now I am needing to explore the creative and the chaotic. I need to find truth for myself, to experience it, rather than believing the things I've always been told. I want to discover for myself whether or not I need the present moment, whether or not meditation benefits my life.

So, for now, I am cutting loose from discipline. I'll come back to it soon and find my balance, I'm sure. I can't tell yet what from my past I want to keep and what I want to get rid of, so I'm throwing it all out and picking back up piece by piece as I find it helpful.


  1. I think taking this step is quite courageous of you Aamba. Also keep in mind that although Vedic philosophy is primarily patriarchal and coming from a masculine perspective that's mainly resonant in the pingala nadi energy, there is also the matriarchal component resident within Hinduism. The matriarchal approaches within Hinduism are heavily based on ida nadi resonances, and thus the harnessing of, as opposed to "control", over the emotional & instinctive nature is the path towards Self Realization and personal self-mastery. Tantra is oftentimes cited as "the way of the feminine" within Sanatana Dharma.

    However, it highly pleases me that you are freeing yourself of all imposed biases that you had felt shackled in. Good for you! I am certain that you will derive much vijnana through this arduous internal and external process of letting go & free-flow reprogramming.
    Aum. :)

  2. Interesting..
    A side note though...the west always has associated of discipline with the stifling of mind, imposition of rules and suppression of individual.
    The East on the other hand sees discipline as a component of life's machine, an essential ingredient for harmony and stability.
    You must understand the disciplinary notion of the east is very different.For example, Japan, Fought the British with samurais even though outmatched by technology , the Kamikazes gave up their lives to fight the technologically superior west,it rose within 3 decades of Hiroshima & Nagasaki.Even now after the horrendous devastation their you would be surprised to know that no supermarket was looted and even when areas were cut off people were selling stuff at concessional prices.Compare this with the looting after Katrina. If say a town in the US was to be isolated the prices would go sky high!! In Haiti the troops had to be armed!!!
    Once upon a time India had such impeccable discipline and culture that the Japanese called ancient India "Tanjiku" meaning "heavenly center of the earth " Now, after a millennium its just a wasteland of corruption and lethargy. India has lost a pillar of its civilization, never to return. That's why I admire china. And that's why Chinese kids study and work harder and eventually displace Americans. You just don't have the discipline.
    A lot of this has to do with how we perceive time. The west perceives a linear nature time. A century is an era, an aeon. There is one life that has to be grandiloquent. For us it doesn't matter. We see time as a cyclic phenomenon. A few centuries is nothing. Even a millennium is insignificant. The world is too big to learn in many a lifetimes. Discipline is foremost to ensure survival in the world. :D
    And sadly the nature of discipline is masculine. That wasn't necessarily bad but cultural mutations have rendered it so. :(

  3. I see time as cyclical as well, I've never been able to understand a linear model of time.

    Anyway, not giving up discipline for good! I just need to measure and weigh what is benefiting me and my development and what is not. Measure in all things, as my dad says.