The White Hindu has moved

The White Hindu has moved! This blog is no longer updated, but Ambaa is still writing The White Hindu every weekday at

Monday, October 8, 2012

Life Lessons

I took a break! And I feel much better.

These things clearly do still affect me. I keep thinking that I'm getting to a point where I don't care what others say, but then something will hit me really hard.

The lesson here is that I am learning some of the sanskara that I am in this life to work through.

Clearly not taking the things that other people say so personally is a life lesson that I need to work on!

(And no, for those who keep commenting on this, marrying an Indian is not the solution to my problem. Please see all blogs written by white wives of Indian men. They still have issues like this to deal with. Also, I am in this life to improve ME. Who I am and my progress on my soul is not a job for a husband.)


  1. If you don't want to marry into an Indian family then get used to Indian hindus communities rejecting you. You're sounding like a spoiled brat. You can't have it both ways. And yes, there is a difference between you and the gori wives. Generally those ladies have a much higher level of integration into Indian hindu communities than you do. Life is not perfect for them but they've experienced much more of Indian culture and religious life than you ever have. If all you care about is the progress of your soul than why cry whenever Indians reject you? That was a disingenuous statement you made. I don't think you've been honest and forthcoming about this issue. You keep saying you've dated Indian guys but didn't you write that you only went out on one date with an Indian guy. You once went to the movies with a Sikh guy. That hardly counts as having a history of dating Indian guys but just being unlucky to have never found the right one. It's time to come clean and discuss this issue honestly. It's the key to the struggle you're having with not getting acceptance.

    1. I don't actually owe you an explanation of how I live my life.

      I don't have to "come clean" or "discuss" anything. This is *my* blog.

      You have no idea how integrated I am or not in Hindu culture. I get upset by random strangers on the Internet rejecting me. I have not felt rejected by my temple or the community that I practice with in real life.

      I have not told you every moment of every day of my life. There are stories that have not yet been told. I may never tell them. That's my decision.

      If you think that you know everything about me by reading this blog, you're wrong.

      I write posts inspired by experiences and emotions as I try to puzzle life out and understand myself and the world. Sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes I say something that I later grow beyond, sometimes I fall back.

      My exposing my journey for others to see and share in does not give you the right to question my integrity.

      I do not need an Indian man to legitimize my lifestyle. I will be Hindu whether I marry a Hindu man or not. I will always be Hindu. That cannot be taken away from me. Thank goodness it is something that I carry in my heart.

      I give myself here to help people see different experiences and ways of living life. I offer a huge chunk of myself in allowing my vulnerabilities to show on the web. Don't think that means you can invade my home life and make accusations.

      I will marry the man who was meant for me. I am not really sorry that he doesn't meet with your approval. I've been in the dating world for twelve years and have dated Hindu men. I am confident in my decision.

    2. Wow, where is your compassion sir? So hateful.

  2. Seriously, what on earth are you talking about? Not having dated Indian men is hardly an "issue" that needs discussing, particularly on HER OWN blog.

    You are attracted to who you are attracted to. And it does not have anything to do with religion.

    If she was dating an Indian man just to be accepted by some Hindus, then she would be using him. What kind of a relationship would that be?

    I'm concerned about your obsession with whether Ambaa has dated Indian men or not. It has absolutely nothing at all to do with her devotion to God. Nothing.

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  4. Soulman:- Man come up with your real don't have basic understanding of santandharma which talks about across universe and you are trying to limit it to some piece of land..anyway for your info there are good number of Hindus who are Not indian BTW.

    Amba:- You seriously need to go to weekly temple so that you will feel the connect..In my temple in Nashville there many western Hindus come on weekly basis some of them are my good friend they are knowledgeable person who are raising their children as orthodox hindus..but if you are looking some legitimacy on Internet posts then be ready for trolls from Fake profiles they are very common.If you consider them seriously then I think you r making ur life painful..

    Last thing Marry someone whom you feel you are compatible with and the person must respect your beliefs...One thing I have noticed you always consider negative rants on your blog I have seen many Knowlegable hindus posting here but I have never seen you seriously consider them in your main blog looks like negative posts which don't even have any credibility attracts you...I think which is NOT a good thing..please consider our comments also :-) ..Last thing have some real life exp. start going your temple on weekly basis you will feel the connect join the temple functions I think in every temple in USA they mention their schedule...
    Namaste With lots of Love,
    Prabhat Chauhan

    1. You make a very good point. I guess when I see good comments, full of knowledge, I let them stand because they are awesome. When I see ignorant comments, I feel the need to address them.

      It also seems like there's more to discuss when someone says something really negative! It gets the community exploring whatever issue it is.

      But you're right, I should showcase the many wonderful things you all have said!

      As far as satsang, you're right there too. I had a weekly temple meeting and it fell apart a few months ago (a divorce happened and it threw everything out of wack). I need to get back to it. Life happens so fast that before I know it, it's been weeks and weeks since I went to temple!

  5. Aamba,
    You are right, you owe nobody an explanation. Your Dharma is to be a white Hindu. You could have been born Indian and you weren't. You could have met an ideal Indian partner, you have not. Dealing with these things is part of your karma.

    Personally I don't argue if someone says I am not a Hindu or not a real Hindu. I say "I am a devotee of Lord Shiva, my lineage says this makes me a Hindu" and leave it at that.

  6. I'm a catholic raised woman who is going to be marrying an Indian Hindu. I wish that just marrying him would make my life better socially but I have already been judge for not knowing one of the Gods.

    1. Yeah, it's not going to be easy or simple, but you'll learn more and more. Good for you for making an interfaith relationship work!