The White Hindu Has Moved

I'm now blogging over at...

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/whitehindu/

Come on over and say hello!

Starting January 2013, there will be posts every week day at the new location with these general themes...

Monday: How Will I Be a Hindu This Week?
Tuesday: Meet a God or Meet a Guru
Wednesday: About Me
Thursday: Philosophy Corner
Friday: Wild Card (videos, news, fun stuff)

Sometimes It Takes Time

I've had been having strange dreams, but they've mostly stopped since my boyfriend hung up a dream catcher over my bed. I don't know if it's the dream catcher itself or the intention we put into easing my dreams. But whatever it is, it's been working.

Last night I had a very interesting experience with a dream.

Some background:

Four years ago I started dating the friend of a friend. We didn't last long. Just a couple weeks. But we were not able to communicate through the end. The breakup hurt and disappointed me a lot and I was so upset that I just couldn't talk or look at him after it.

For years.

There are some things that people have said to me I just need to get over. And this is one of them. Why was it so hard to let go of? I don't know.

The few times I'd see him, I felt really awkward. I couldn't stop feeling upset and angry even though I knew it wasn't his fault.

This went on for four years.

That's right. Four years. And then last night I dreamed that I spoke to him. We talked about how things ended and I woke up feeling completely at peace.

For the first time the pain of that situation four years ago was gone.

So the point is, healing from something takes the time that it takes. 

You don't just snap out of it. You don't reason your way out of if. Your psyche lets go of it when it's ready. And I'm glad I was finally ready.

***

In other news, the new space for my blog is set up and ready. I'm going to be posting an intro post there today and then the first real posting will begin January 3rd.

I have planned out posts for every week day of the next three months! Some of them are revisiting issues that have come up here and others are not. I have a lot of big plans for the white Hindu.

I'll post a link soon!

Future Changes

I have some exciting news!

I didn't want to say anything this morning, but now the paperwork is passed in and I think it is safe to say that my blog is going to be moving. Thanks to Niki at My Own Ashram, I was offered a great opportunity to be part of an interfaith website.

It has sections for a variety of religions and each section has bloggers and columnists. I have been asked to join the Hindu bloggers there. I'm thrilled by the opportunity to expand readership and widen the discussion!

This is going to take effect in the new year, so watch for a post in January 2013 showing you where I've moved to.

One of the great things about this is that it will mean I have to post more! I'll be obligated to keep the blog up and I think that will be a really good thing for all of us. I'm brainstorming ideas now for different types of posts. I'm thinking of doing some weekly and monthly themes and balancing my philosophical musing with posts about celebrating holidays and day to day life as a Hindu.

So where am I going?

To Patheos.com! Their tagline is: Hosting the Conversation on Faith. I love that.

Doing a happy dance right now!

Ads Disabled on the Blog

To take an admin moment, you may have noticed that the few scattered ads are gone.

I was trying out the Google adwords program to see if I could bring in a little revenue from the discussions here. I was making around 30 cents a month or so! Probably not even worth having.

So I suppose that it's just as well that Google suspended my account and accused me of fraud.

I really dislike these websites that go the guilty-until-proven-innocent route. It's very hurtful. The other really annoying thing is that they refuse to tell you what you've done wrong. They accuse you of being a criminal and then say they are unable to say why they are making that accusation.

I appealed and said I had no idea what they thought I did wrong, but I'm just a simple hobby blogger and it's not like I'm raking in millions here.

They denied my appeal.

The only thing I can think is that I must have accidentally clicked on one of the ads once when I was trying to get the page to load (my work computer is very slow, and I get frustrated trying to force it to scroll on a page when it's taken two minutes to try to load it!) Of course clicking on your own ads is fraud and I would never do that intentionally. They will not confirm if this is what happened or not. I'm in the dark as far as what made them suspend my account.

So no more ads.

It seemed like a nice way to get something back from the time and energy that I devote here particularly since I'm struggling financially. But it's not like it was doing much good anyway. What I really get from this blog is the interesting discussion and perspectives that you all bring to these issues. It's great to sort through these things with friends instead of alone!

We Can Be Better Than That

In response to the article I posted about yesterday, one of my friends on facebook said...

 Do u remember I said abt Dr. Swamy, well he is a hindu nationalist & I agree wid him. Coz if such nations won't become secular then we Hindus must change our policies & it is a hindu who has to suffer alot wether he may b in a gulf country or in any other country.What do u think?

What I said there is that I think two wrongs don't make a right. We don't want to become like the others who hurt us, we want to be better than them.

But my response goes deeper than that. I think at the root of this reaction is a very powerful fear.

We fear that Hinduism will be destroyed by the more aggressive religions. And I can understand why we have that fear when we do still see forced conversions and people being conned into believing in another religion.

Still, the fear is not necessary and it holds us back from our full potential. Fear is an emotion that shrinks us, not one that grows us. As my father says, one should never do or not do something because of fear.

Hinduism is strong. It has survived for thousands of years and is one of the oldest (if not possibly the very oldest) religions in the world. It is woven into the core of what it is to be human. Like Krishna, there has never been a time that it has not existed. It is not going anywhere.

No matter what other people might try to do, no matter how individuals experience it, Hinduism cannot be destroyed.

You know what a forced conversion can never do? It can never change your heart. Hinduism will always live  in your heart. No one can take that from you.

Hinduism does have its faults. Not at its core. At its core it is perfect (as we are too). But society and culture over time has corrupted parts of it and we need to always be careful to remember that Hinduism is about love. It is not about discrimination or being hurtful to another human being. When those things happen, then some people think that's what Hinduism is. We can be the example to show that that is not true.

When we feel hurt by the policies and religions of others, the first instinct is to lash back and do the same thing back to them. I think we can be better than that and show the world that a Hindu does not hurt others.

A Disturbing Story in the News

On Facebook today I discovered a post about this young Hindu woman who died in Ireland because the Catholic hospitals would not perform an abortion.

It certainly hits close to home for me as she was only 31, just about the same age as me.

The person who shared the article expresses the belief that the people involved should be punished for murder and that it was inappropriate that a Hindu woman be forced to accept rules based on Catholicism. However, it is a Catholic country (that part of it, anyway). To me this really showcases the need to keep religion separate from government.

She should have had the choice to go to a hospital that was not affiliated with Catholicism.

Being a religious minority is a terrifying thing. You cannot trust that your beliefs will be honored when they come into conflict with the majority.

Even for those who are opposed to abortion, it is difficult to see how you could make the choice to kill both the mother and the four month old fetus instead of saving the mother.

http://www.hindu-blog.com/2012/11/hindu-woman-denied-abortion-in-catholic.html

Be sure that where ever you live, you know what the laws about this sort of thing are. You cannot trust that your own religious convictions will be honored when they conflict with the religious convictions of the majority population where you live.

My Diwali

We had a great time last night at the ISKON temple. It's about a forty minute drive away, so I don't go very often, but their events are always a great experience.

On our way out the door (+ I need a better camera!)

Though my practices are not terribly devotional, it is nice to do some devotional activity now and then. It's so much fun to get caught up in the energy: jumping, clapping, and shouting to the gods.

I tried to take a picture of the idols, but there was so much light that my camera couldn't deal with it!

Back home...

This is my fanciest sari, the same one I wore to the temple dedication in Sringeri 

Shubh Dipavali

Happy Diwali, everyone! Hope this week will be special for you and that you'll start fresh, challenging yourself to a great new year.

http://www.desicomments.com/dc1/11/150320/150320.gif

Review: The Destiny of Shaitan

This is a book I've been waiting for.

Oh, I didn't know this author or that she was creating this book, but I have been wanting a fantasy novel set in an Indian-based world for years! I even tried to write one once, but I have no skill in the fantasy genre. I'm so glad that this book was created.

Now, unfortunately, the point of view is one of my least favorite possible. First person and present tense. Present tense is very difficult to do well and it feels much more contrived than the recent past that we're so used to reading in novels. (It's, in fact, easy to not realize one is reading past tense because it feels so natural, but if you pick up a book and look at the verb to be it will almost always be "was" rather than "is.") For me this makes it very difficult to get immersed in the story. I struggled with that a lot, however that is probably just a personal quirk!

I'm always impressed with the imagination it takes to make whole worlds and galaxies come to life. I have to congratulate the author on her creativity! The blend of ancient and future was very cool. I look forward to more books that bring Indian mythology and aesthetic into fantasy settings.

With this book, your enjoyment will depend a lot on taste, so I would suggest checking out the sample to see what you think. Also, as I am an official stop on the author's blog tour, I am participating in a giveaway!
It is tour wide and ends Nov. 25th. Click the link to enter... a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here is the description from the author:

Background: The Destiny of Shaitan, the first novel in The Chronicle of The Three series is a coming of age story, about a girl who falls in love only to realise that to be truly happy, she has to first find herself. Set in 3000 AD, when the galaxy is populated by humans as well as a half human, half alien race called half lives, this novel, tracks the protagonists from five to seventeen years old. 

Synopsis: When Tiina accompanies her ex-boyfriend Yudi on a mission to save the universe from the ruthless Shaitan, she seeks more than the end of the tyrant; she seeks herself. Driven by greed and fear for his own survival, Shaitan bulldozes his way through the galaxy, destroying everything in his path. Tiina wants Yudi to eliminate Shaitan, thus fulfilling the prophecy of the powerful autocrat being killed by his son, but she finds that Yudi is hesitant to do so. The final showdown between Yudi and Shaitan has unexpected consequences, for Shaitan will do anything in his power to win the fight—including getting rid of Tiina. The stakes are high and the combatants determined. Will Shaitan's ultimate destiny be fulfilled?

Return to 7 Islands, (Chronicle of The Three, #2): The Destiny of Shaitan, ends with Tiina, leaving everything she knows—including Yudi and the world she helped save from Shaitan—in search of herself.  The second novel in the series, titled Return to 7 Islands, follows Tiina as she lands in a futuristic Bombay—now  reduced by a tsunami to its original seven islands—and helps Rai, in defending his childhood orphanage from the clutches of Sharmila, Shaitan's daughter. As she struggles to come to terms with her origins in an attempt to understand herself better, she discovers a surprise about her past. 

A Hindu in U.S. Congress

Andrea M. shared with me an interview with the woman who is likely to become the first Hindu American in Congress. How exciting is that?

Here is a particularly interesting part of the interview...

Your dad is Catholic. Your mom, I believe, is Hindu. So does your Hinduism flow from your mom? How deep is it?I grew up in a multicultural, multi-religious household. My father is of Samoan/Caucasian heritage and he is a deacon in the Catholic church. However, he also likes to practice mantra meditation, including kirtan. My mother is Caucasian and a practicing Hindu.Are you a practicing Hindu?
Yes, I am a practicing Hindu. Some people are Hindus because they were born into a Hindu family, but may not have seriously studied or applied the Vedic teachings and practices. 
In that sense it's very much like many people in America who consider themselves Christians because they were born into a Christian family. But that's not my situation.I fully embraced Sanatan Dharma after serious deliberation and contemplation in my later teens -- it's not because my mother was a Hindu....

Read more: http://www.rediff.com/news/report/concerns-of-hindus-are-near-to-my-heart-tulsi-gabbard/20121031.htm

It's always interesting for me to find out about other Caucasians who grew up with Hinduism!

{Of course, one should avoid reading the comments. There is someone going nuts in the comments. It kind of illustrates the polarity of white Hinduism. Many embrace it and some become rage-fully angry over it.}

Back from Garba

I had an awesome weekend celebrating Navratri.

A friend invited me to a garba event that her family puts on every year. We came early to help set up and work on food, etc. It allowed me to eat great home made food all weekend long!

My one lengha is not very garba appropriate. I need one with more mirror-work and folk art style. I was also worried about mine being too long, but I managed to dance in it.

I love to dance, so I had a blast. Though I am quite out of shape and had to stop frequently, red-faced and puffing! There was also a beautiful puja and some yummy prasad.

Here are a few pictures...

Sorry they are so blurry! Taken with my iPod instead of my digital camera, which is out of batteries.

My friend got to experience a bit of my frustration. All night people kept saying things like, "Oh, I see they've dressed you up!" with big grins. My friend would say, "No, it's her own outfit" and, of course, no one listened! 

That sort of thing sometimes makes me feel defensive, but these days I more often just shrug and go with it. They don't need to know that I'm no stranger to Indian culture, food, dress, or customs. A lot of people are delighted to see me, excited to welcome me, and explain all the things that I already know. But it makes them happy, so I don't usually fight it anymore.

Working on a New Book

New reader, Suzanne, had a wonderful suggestion in one of the comments. She is new to Hinduism and feeling a little overwhelmed about where to begin this journey. She said she'd like to see some classes for converts. What a brilliant thought!

My mind has been churning on that and I've come up with the idea that I will write a book called A Class for Converts: Beginning Your Journey in Hinduism.

It will, of course, talk about how "convert" is not necessarily the right term for someone becoming a Hindu and how Hinduism is more a way of life and less a religion and about how there is no central authority. But it will also give information about different branches and organizations and options.

Here's the outline that I'm thinking of so far...

Part One
The real basics--principles and ideas
The variety of Hindu beliefs and practices
The three paths and some questions to help you figure out which you are
A good first step depending on the path
How to find a worship community
How to visit a temple for the first time
Setting up a sacred space at home
Do you need to undergo a ritual to be a Hindu?
How to learn more

Part Two
Essays on issues that might be unique to "converts":
-Family issues (talking to your parents or your spouse about this)
-Do I need a caste?
-Some of Hinduism's negative history (I think it's important for people to understand that no religion is perfect and there are people who have behaved badly no matter what religion they claim to follow. Converts should not come to Hinduism because it's "all about love and peace, man. It's not consumerist like the west." People need to see the positive and the negative and make an informed decision).
-What makes Buddhism and Hinduism different?
ETA: -Being a Hindu in the workplace and other social situations (still pondering this one)

Part Three
Debates. I will take sticky issues that I've wrestled with here and provide both sides, an essay for both the yes side and the no side.
-Should you take Indian culture along with an Indian religion?
-Do you need to be a vegetarian to be a Hindu?
-Was Gandhi the perfect man or did he hurt India's future?
-Can you wear Indian clothes?
ETA: -How should I deal with Christmas or other holidays of my native religion?

Conclusion

Resources
(Definitely the books from Himalayan Academy)

What other issues would you like to see addressed? (Some of these are extremely emotional issues, so please try not to argue in the comments about them. As I said, I will present both sides. In the end, it's very important for us all to remember that our experience is our own experience and none of us can speak for how every Hindu feels about something).

Excited for Garba!

I'm going to a garba for Navratri this month! So excited.

I'm afraid my only lengha is awfully long on me and it might not be good for dancing. I guess I just have to go shopping, eh?

I'll try to get some pictures to share with you!

Vedic Prayers

On the Facebook page, Bhismah Arya posted an article about the Gayatri mantra. It reminded me that chanting of the Vedic prayers is a great way to calm the inner turmoil that has been stirred up by the arguing I've been doing lately with the "soulman" commenter.

He can believe if he wants to that I will never be accepted by the Indian community, but that has not been my experience. He can believe that people are just being polite and secretly thinking I'm just playing with my faith. Most of the people at my temple have expressed amazement and joy that I understand Hinduism on the level that I do (more so than most Indians, they often tell me!) But people can go ahead and think that I'm just playing around with this faith if they want. People can think whatever it is they are going to think. I can't control that.

Apparently to be taken seriously he believes I must marry someone random that I don't even like (but I've tried that! I got rejected for marriage by someone in my community as well as by a Hindu Advaita man). So he will continue to believe that my refusal to marry someone only for the sake of being taken seriously in my religion is an inappropriate choice. It's good to know that some people will always think that and I cannot be responsible for anyone's beliefs but my own.

At the same time, only I am responsible for my feelings and my behaviors. So if I'm wrong, then I take the consequences of being wrong. No need to anyone else to get worked up about my spiritual progress.

The fact is, this commenter is making accusations about my character that I don't have to listen to. His comments will no longer be published.

Now, let us all enjoy the beautiful hymns that I grew up listening to. My mother used to sing these to me as lullabies. :)

I also found this girl who appears to be a white convert to Hinduism singing bhajans. She's got a beautiful voice!

This reminds me that all I need to do is commune with the divine and enjoy my unique relationship with the universe. 

Life Lessons

I took a break! And I feel much better.

These things clearly do still affect me. I keep thinking that I'm getting to a point where I don't care what others say, but then something will hit me really hard.

The lesson here is that I am learning some of the sanskara that I am in this life to work through.

Clearly not taking the things that other people say so personally is a life lesson that I need to work on!

(And no, for those who keep commenting on this, marrying an Indian is not the solution to my problem. Please see all blogs written by white wives of Indian men. They still have issues like this to deal with. Also, I am in this life to improve ME. Who I am and my progress on my soul is not a job for a husband.)

Maybe I Need to Step Away from the Internet!

I take everything I see on the Internet way too personally.

I'm not sure how to stop doing that!

It would probably be good for me to step away again for a while and recharge myself.


http://xkcd.com/386/

...And the Other Side

It's a good thing I don't really rely on other people for my self-esteem anymore.

No sooner do I see the blog post that I gave you earlier today than I have one from the opposite perspective:

http://www.biculturalmom.com/2012/09/27/white-privilege-links-resources-reblogged-from-i-drink-white-tears

Lots of links to articles about white privileged and cultural appropriation. There's at least four on why you shouldn't wear a bindi.

Here's why white people can't be Hindu: http://sitaronse.tumblr.com/post/31223924664 I still don't really understand why I'm supposed to be responsible for the behavior of other white people. Because some white people oppressed your people, it's my responsibility? I know that sounds callused, but I didn't oppress anyone. My family, so far as I know, didn't oppress anyone. All white people didn't do that to you. But I guess I'm not really allowed to say that.

Apparenty, according to this person, a white person cannot have a respectful relationship with Hinduism. She can only treat it like a toy and enjoy its "otherness" and act like she's making it better. I do not come to Hinduism lightly and I think my regular readers know that! I know it intimately and it is not a game to me.

I am privileged. I feel guilty that I have that privilege. But I'm just not going to accept that I shouldn't follow my heart and do what feels right because I might offend or upset someone else. I don't purposefully go out to offend, of course, but I'm not sure who these people want me to be. The stereotype of a white person, I suppose. They probably have an idea in their minds of what a white person's domain is and exactly what it looks like.

I do not.

I have only what feels right to me and I'm finished with asking for anyone's permission to do it.

Heck yes!

I feel energized and delighted from reading this post that Andrea M. pointed out to me. I think he makes some really excellent points. I pretty much wanted to say "Yes, exactly" to every single sentence, so you absolutely have to go over and read it.

It's about cultural appropriation and how Indian culture is 1) extremely varied, 2) is strong enough to survive people dabbling in it, and 3) allowing others to learn and experience one's culture enriches and strengthens it, helping to fight against racism by destroying ignorance.

Here are just a few of the wonderful lines...

"There is nothing wrong with taking the best ideas of a group of people and using them to improve your own. It doesn't destroy your culture, it makes it BETTER"

"...the people complaining have forgotten one thing. That culture changes. Indian culture of 100 years ago is not the same as today."

"Yes there are a lot of things that suck like 'Fair and Lovely' and the like about Indian culture but you know what? That has nothing to do with a bunch of white people putting indian things on their foreheads or carrying our bags or dancing in movies. That has to do with a society that doesn't realise that all skin colour is beautiful. It's due to western influences and the idealisation of beauty but you have to realise one important thing. White people are as exotic to Indians as Indians are to White People. You are just as fetishised as our women are to you. "

Go read it now! :) http://a-million-gods.blogspot.com/2012/09/baggy-silk-pants.html

Readers, help me help this woman!

I got a message on Ravelry yesterday from a woman who loves to wear saris, but can't find a choli big enough to fit her.

I am terrible at sewing and I got my cholis mostly online, but my bust is not quite as large as hers.

What we need is this:

A resource where someone can buy (or have made from the fabric that sometimes comes with a sari) a blouse that is 48 inch bust and 40 inch underbust.

Please let me know in the comments if you can think of anywhere I can direct this woman!

Huh?

There's a comment awaiting moderation on my Happy Ganesh Chaturthi post. It says "I'll pray for you."

???

I'm not sure what to make of that.

It's something I've heard Christians say when they've decided that my religious Hindu life is leading me straight to hell.

What do you guys think? Original commenter, would you like to provide clarification or context?

Will stay unpublished until I know whether this is some Christian B.S.