Life has been very good to me recently. I met and started a relationship with an absolutely wonderful man who is my perfect match in every way. I feel total peace and trust in our relationship and there is no need to push towards any next goal. What we have now is perfection and what ever we have in the future will also be perfection. There's nothing I would change.
Which brings up something very interesting for me.
I inherited from my mother, as many of us do, a tendency to worry. To worry over things in the future that I have no control over! I'm also addicted to achieving. I love video games because I enjoy that little rush of getting to the next level, unlocking the next achievement. My knitting is symptomatic of this too. I feel like I'm being productive, I'm accomplishing something as I turn string into sweaters.
With the relationship, though, there is no rush towards anything, no stepping stones to get to, nothing to try to achieve. And it's making me feel slightly weird.
Not that there's anything wrong, I just noticed this vague uncomfortableness in myself because I don't need to *do* anything.I just have to *be*
Why is that so difficult?
A while ago I noticed that staying present eliminates a lot of the pain and stress from life. A little bit of concern and plan for the future is good, but most of what we do is useless and only serves to make us tense. Is it a problem today? No? Don't worry about it.
And then you can keep breaking that down. Is it a problem this hour? This minute? This moment? You'll find that in the actual moment you are currently in, there is virtually no stress, no worry, and even no physical pain.
Knowing that, how is it that we don't spend all our time in the present moment?
I think it's because of that addiction to achieving. We enjoy the stress because it leads to those little endorphin rushes when we feel like we've fixed something or done something useful.
Learning to recognize the joy and peace in just being and not having to do, do, do all the time, is quite a challenge!
Which brings up something very interesting for me.
I inherited from my mother, as many of us do, a tendency to worry. To worry over things in the future that I have no control over! I'm also addicted to achieving. I love video games because I enjoy that little rush of getting to the next level, unlocking the next achievement. My knitting is symptomatic of this too. I feel like I'm being productive, I'm accomplishing something as I turn string into sweaters.
With the relationship, though, there is no rush towards anything, no stepping stones to get to, nothing to try to achieve. And it's making me feel slightly weird.
Not that there's anything wrong, I just noticed this vague uncomfortableness in myself because I don't need to *do* anything.I just have to *be*
Why is that so difficult?
A while ago I noticed that staying present eliminates a lot of the pain and stress from life. A little bit of concern and plan for the future is good, but most of what we do is useless and only serves to make us tense. Is it a problem today? No? Don't worry about it.
And then you can keep breaking that down. Is it a problem this hour? This minute? This moment? You'll find that in the actual moment you are currently in, there is virtually no stress, no worry, and even no physical pain.
Knowing that, how is it that we don't spend all our time in the present moment?
I think it's because of that addiction to achieving. We enjoy the stress because it leads to those little endorphin rushes when we feel like we've fixed something or done something useful.
Learning to recognize the joy and peace in just being and not having to do, do, do all the time, is quite a challenge!
