My mom told me this morning about a woman she just met who is Catholic and married to a Hindu man. They have two young sons and are, apparently, still trying to figure out exactly how to raise them with both faiths.
That, I think, is the trickiest part about interfaith marriages. What to do about the kids?
But then I think that kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. I think it's kind of like language. If you want to raise your kid with two or more languages, you might worry that they will get confused or have language problems. However, the research shows that kids are more than capable of handling up to four native languages without confusion. I think kids can handle the idea of more than one faith co-existing and it might even help them to grow up to have flexible minds. I think kids can handle the idea that their parents do not have all the answers about everything. There are mysteries in the universe and that is a beautiful thing.
Of course we try to think of the best way to give our children the most advantage in life, but there is no perfect way to raise children. If there were, then we'd have a lot of perfect adults by now, having had thousands of years of human history in which to practice. No matter our parents' intentions, we all grow up into imperfect adults.
And you know what? All religions in the world do have at least one thing in common and that is love. (Of course there are some crazy extremists who practice hate, but they obviously haven't read their own scriptures very closely. Even Islam and Christianity, the two worst offenders, are actually filled with love). Love, acceptance and compassion are the backbone of every religion I've studied (and I love studying different religions).
A long time ago my mom was teaching a spiritual type class and a little boy said, "Mrs. M, do you believe that Jesus was the son of God?"
She replied, "Yes. And so are you."
If you find yourself in this situation, trying to raise children with more than one faith, my advice (bear in mind I have no children of my own!) would be to focus on the love.
Aamba,
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that kids can handle several languages. Adi himself grew up hearing Telugu at home, school was in English, and from the beginning Hindi was taught as the second language at school. I have no fear and am bound and determined for my children to grow up being tri-lingual.
The reason why I personally feel like the children with two religions end up feeling lost is because both parents lack the courage to teach the child the importance of both faiths. I feel like lots of times the parents hold back so much thinking it will confuse them that actually it leaves them stuck in the middle with nowhere to go. I think if both parents are determined enough to integrate both faiths in a way that they will compliment each other then there is definitely no reason a child can't grow to love both.
Kat
Agreed!
ReplyDeleteAgain, coming from a place of no experience! And I'm not sure how this will all work in my own relationship when we get to that point.
Aamba , You are wrong about ISLAM. ISLAM is not a religion , it is a BIG LEVEL CULT, that is all.
ReplyDeleteI have issues with Islam in the same way that I have issues with Christianity, but both are very large religions with some wonderful teachings in them.
ReplyDeleteThe base of Islam is love. It is not always practiced that way, but I am absolutely certain that it is.
I want this blog to be a place of acceptance and love for all humanity and I will start moderating comments to stop comments like the above.
read this book "The Arab Imperialism" by Anwar Shiek.
ReplyDeletehttp://islam-watch.org/AnwarSheikh/Islam-Arab-Imperialism.htm
Look, I don't believe in Islam. If I did, this would be quite a different blog.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I refuse for my blog about unity and finding common ground to turn into anything about hate. I do not believe in hate.