The White Hindu has moved

The White Hindu has moved! This blog is no longer updated, but Ambaa is still writing The White Hindu every weekday at Patheos.com.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Ignorance

America is a very religious country in many ways. It's strange to say because we are also known as the land of overly sexualizing everything, but Americans tend to take religion in their lives very seriously. Atheists are also often very hard core about their beliefs. It is difficult to say any one thing about America because it is a land of so many different people and beliefs and attitudes and backgrounds, but it really does have a serious religious core that is too often based on fear of others.

The country began where I grew up and it was first settled by very staunch, disciplined, religious people. New England maintains some of that Puritan attitude to this day.

All this is to say that, strangely, even being quite a religious nation, a survey just came out showing that Americans know very little about religion, their own and other people's:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100928/ap_on_re/us_rel_religious_literacy_poll

Half of Americans don't know that the Dalai Lama is Buddhist and less than four in ten know that Shiva and Vishnu are part of Hinduism.

The article has a link at the top to a quiz, which has a sample of the questions asked. I got a perfect score :) It was only ten questions. I would love to take the whole thing and see how I do!

Religion is the thing that interests me the most and which I study. I'm proud that I also learn about other people's religions. I have read the Christian Bible, I have gone to Jewish services, I have even visited a Mosque on two occasions. I think that learning about others' beliefs makes for a more unified world.

Knowledge is always good. Learning and growing and understanding is good. We share this world with people who believe differently than us and we will be miserable if we can't accept and try to understand the perspectives of those people.

And here is something that someone named Al Haug posted on Facebook that was very moving to me. This is what being American should be:



----------------------------------
By the way, for those who in the comments who have mentioned that I take things too seriously and should lighten up, this is something that you have to know about me. I am a really serious person (I have a sense of humor, but it is dry and British and subtle). I am fascinated by the deepest questions in life and I pursue them. This is one reason I have trouble finding a husband :) I do worry too much and I am intense and serious. I'm working on taking life in a lighter way, but I'll never stop digging into the deepest questions of religion and life and how people find meaning. That's something that I love.

EDITED TO ADD:
A friend found the actual survey, here it is:
http://www.pewforum.org/uploadedFiles/Topics/Belief_and_Practices/religious-knowledge-questionnaire.pdf

It will take me some time to print this out and go through it, I'll get back to you to let you know how I do.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Weekend a success, in the end.

Thanks for the kind comments, everyone!

Everything sorted itself out.

As it turned out, the picnic was mainly focused on the children, so I didn't hear about it because I don't have kids.

Going to the dinner and the study group will give me people that I can talk to who can keep me informed on things.

I had an awesome time at both. I have never felt so welcomed.

There were more than fifty people at the dinner, which was at the same house as the study group. The two people I had emailed about joining the study group were there and they introduced me around and made sure that I was never alone in a corner (it might surprise you to know that I'm naturally a bit shy and have a hard time with big social situations!) Everyone was tremendously friendly.

I was very pleasantly surprised by the reception of the older people. This must be a prejudice on my part, maybe based on my own Granny, who is quite judgmental. I was introduced to the mother of the man whose house it was and she was cheerful and welcoming and happy to have me. I expected an older generation to be wary of someone like me and that was not the case at all.

I am so impressed by her! She speaks English, Tamil, Hindi, Sanskrit, and Bengali!

There were a couple of other Grannies there as well and they were just as kind. I met one older woman who was visiting from Chennai and she told me all about the arts and music that happen there. She was the most beautiful, elegant older woman I've ever seen.

All the Grannies had a sparkle about them, especially in their eyes. It made me think, I would like to be like that.

The next day I went to the study group, which was about ten people and very comfortable. I was struck again by how familiar the teachings are. Advaita is the same, no matter who is teaching it to you. The concepts, the ideas, they were all exactly what I believe.

Of course I had to explain again and again how I found Chinmaya and why I was there, but everyone accepted my explanation that my parents taught me Advaita as a child, but left out the culture and that I wanted both. A family friend told me that Chinmaya would be a good fit for me, and so it is!

:D

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Busy Weekend

This weekend has me bouncing all over the place.

In bad news, I went to Chinmaya mission this morning and the door was locked. I found one person there who was doing some admin stuff and he told me that there was a getting-to-know-you picnic today, but he didn't know where it was! He tried really hard to find it for me, even calling the Swami-ji on his cell phone, but no one answered.

I was really disappointed. One of the things that has been bothering me about Chinmaya is that I'm so alone there. I go each Saturday morning and sit by myself and listen and then I mill around a little afterward and try to find something to help out with, but I don't know anyone and no one knows me. What a great opportunity this picnic would have been to make some friends!

I'm not sure how to get in the loop on stuff like this. I'm on the email list, but I went back through my emails and found nothing about a picnic.

In the end, I had to just turn around and go home. Which isn't so bad, since I have homework to do.

And in good news, I will have other opportunities this weekend to make friends with Chinmaya people. Yesterday I was on their website and I found the information for the study groups, which are small discussion gatherings. I've been looking for one ever since I tried the youth discussion group and found myself with a bunch of people ten years younger than me that I couldn't relate to.

It turns out, there is a study group in the town next to me and they invited me to come to the meeting tomorrow evening. Also, they are putting together a special dinner for the Swami-ji tonight and I was invited to that as well.

So, I'm not as crushed about the picnic as I would otherwise have been. I'm going to go to the store after my dance class and pick up some fruit to make a big fruit chaat and head to dinner!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Conversation on Cultural Appropriation

The conversation around cultural appropriation continues all around me. It isn't something that I want to just dismiss as irrelevant. I am confident in my choice to follow the culture that I feel at home with, but I also want to continue to refresh and renew my understanding and the understanding of the society around me about what the real implications of my choice are.

I was poking around on the Internet like I do and I found a discussion about Native American Shaminism. This discussion, actually, was less about the culture and practices themselves, and more about whether people who are not Native Americans could choose to incorporate aspects of it into their spiritual practice.

These discussions often come back to this idea of "white privilege." This is something that I know nothing about. I have never really studied sociology or anything like that. Sadly, not hearing about it doesn't make me not a part of it. Even though I don't feel any loyalty or connection to my literal ancestry or to my skin color, I am still automatically in a privileged position, according to what I've been reading.

I can't know what it is like to be not white. I have been in situations where I am the minority, but in most of my life, I am in the majority. If I do non-mainstream things, those are a choice. Because of my looks, I have the choice to fit in more than I do. People with other skin tones often face discrimination and prejudice and there is nothing they could do to change that (aside from educating the ignorant people who are discriminating against them, I guess).

What saddens me in this is that, as white people, we are expected to bear a lot of blame and guilt for the way our ancestors may have treated people (I have a hard time believing that my Irish ancestors were out there oppressing anyone!). I don't know if that is right or wrong.

I am going to paraphrase some of the points and ideas that were brought up in this discussion. There were some things that I haven't thought about before:

On Facebook, a group called Speaking of Faith posted a question: “What can we learn from Native American shamanism?” The poster on this forum said she was surprised by some of the reactions to that post, that went from "everything" to "leave it alone, it's not yours to experience."

She asked if involving oneself in another culture's spiritual practice is dishonoring or invading them in inappropriate ways.

Why, she asks, would it be bad to encourage people to experience cultures different from their own?


Here are the basic points that were brought up, on both sides of the issue:
-it's a fad
-we have a varied ethnic make up, why not draw from all of them?
-turning it into something it isn't
-white people expect to be able to do whatever they want and take whatever they want without consequence
-cherry picking religion (still plan to do a post on this based on Eat Pray Love)
-people whose ancestors tried to wipe our your religion are now practicing it
-white people erroneously seeing indigenous people as "pure"
-is it still the same religion if it is modified by people not totally understanding it practicing it or "making it their own"?

One person made the statement that it was up to the native members of that culture to choose whether or not to accept an outsider in their practices. I thought that was a grand idea, but impossible in practice. I pointed out that most religions do not have one central person who can declare who is in and who is out. This is what I wrote in response:

"One of the troubles with this is that there isn’t always one authority in a religion or culture. If you are welcomed by one spiritual community, but then someone else from another town sees you practicing her religion and is offended, what do you do? Do you say, 'Ask my priest (or whatever), I got permission from him'? Do you need to carry a signed statement around to say that someone culturally from this religion approved you?"

To which I have not had a response as of yet.

Whose approval is it that we need and why? I'm working now on the idea that I only need my own approval, but I don't want to be insensitive these issues, so I continue to learn about them.

Here are some paraphrased responses to the post on Shaminism:

This seems similar to Messianic Judaism, which combines Judaism and Christianity in a way that offends many Jews. They feel that their religion is being co-opted and turned into something it is not, combining the sacred with something they find profane.

In terms of Native American stuff, I have some Native American heritage as well as a lot of European. I wonder if we need to just be aware and careful when taking these things on. That's why I was reluctant to jump into Celtic paganism because I wanted to make sure it was my path and not just me following a fad. I didn't want my interest to fade and to move onto something else, but now that I'm following that path, I'm trying to be respectful and sit back and learn instead of acting like I'm an expert. And it's frustrating when you've been doing something and it suddenly becomes "cool."

***
I see a couple of things going on with Native American religious practices. First is the history. White people perpetrated cultural genocide against Native Americans and it must be hard to see your religious practices adopted by people who don't look at the realities of that history on a daily basis. There is also systemic racism in this country and it must be hard to see your practices adopted by people who seem unaware of the unearned privilege that their race gives them. People whose ancestors worked hard to eradicate your culture can now choose to practice it without any negative consequences.

***
Cafeteria spiritualism that takes just the convenient bits of practices around the world really bothers me.

*****
Involving oneself in another culture's spiritual practice can be dishonoring or invading. There are churches that do not welcome everyone to communion. Non-Mormons are not allowed in certain parts of Mormon sanctuaries. I would not expect to be invited to a friend's celebrations of Passover. If it is not ok for me to walk into a Catholic monastery and explore, why should it be ok for me to go to other sacred places like a sweat lodge? Why do Westeners think they can barge right into practices that are "indigenous" and "close to the earth" without asking?

I see a lot of racial distinctions in what traditions are considered fair game to adapt. Partly this is because of the misguided idea of indigenous people as pure and unsullied by everything that is wrong with Western culture. The avoids the nuances and subtleties of a challenging situation and is naive.

***
The way people are talking about it, no one outside the culture has a right to even study it, let alone take it on. If there is a non-indigenous person who really is seeking to learn about it and is respectful, why would that not be allowed?


******
Certainly barding into someone's sacred space and expecting a welcome is a problem and the people who operate that space have the right to decide who is allowed, what if the people are setting up their own versions of something sacred from that culture in their own space? Like if a UU church is teaching kids about dream catchers. Is it inappropriate appropraition from the children to make dream catchers at their church?


******
A comment on the cafeteria spirituality. This idea that picking and choosing from different traditions is wrong is a Western prejudice and not shared by all cultures. For example, in Japan rituals from Shinto, Christian, and Buddhist traditions are often used throughout a person's life. There's nothing wrong with that unless you adhere to the Western dualism that says you ahve to be this or that, not something in between. We in the West can be very rigid in our thinking, particularly when it comes to spirituality.


****
Some people say that you should worship in the religion that is most predominate in your own culture because you are born into that culture to learn something specific within that framework. To go outside of the culture you're born into is disrespectful to the gods. I thought it was an interesting concept, though I don't agree with it.

*****
I was on vacation recently and was looking at Native American jewelry. I avoid purchasing jewelry that has symbolic Native American designs just like I avoid wearing African styles of clothes, even though I think the fabrics are really beautiful. It feels as if I am taking something that isn't mine. I asked the woman I was buying jewelry from about this and she looked at me like she had never thought of it like that. I am protective of symbols. If a non-Jew put up a mezzuzah [a container for a sacred scroll that Jews attach to the sides of their front doors], I woudl feel infringed on, like if you are not willing to take on the commitment, why are you taking the symbol. I feel that way also about people I know are not Christian who wear crosses because they are in style.


******
It's true about the messianic Judaism. I looked at their source texts against the original Hebrew and not one verse means what they say it means. At some point you have to say, this is not Judaism. Dressing like a Jew and sprinkling in some Hebrew is not the equivalent of being Jewish.

****
And lastly, an interesting article written by a young woman who is both Black and Jewish (and born Jewish, not a convert) and her feelings of being not welcomed by Judaism:
http://www.racialicious.com/2010/09/07/off-and-running-toward-my-own-identity-racialigious/

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

In case you couldn't tell...

Sorry to be a downer today. If you couldn't tell, my boyfriend and I broke up last night.

For the girls looking forward to and waiting for fun Indian wedding stuff, here's a couple of links of amazing American/Indian (and sometimes other nationalities) weddings with pictures worth drooling over:

http://www.maharaniweddings.com/

http://marigoldsandmithai.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

Too American

I hate being thought of as typical. Typical anything. I feel dismissed if someone says "she's just being a girl" or "she's so American" or whatever it is. Maybe that is where my at-odds-ness comes from. In other words, I have tremendous difficulty fitting in with the culture around me, no matter where I am. I have a need to be different and stand out. Unfortunately, that instinct doesn't mesh too well with an Indian culture where individuals are not as important as the whole and family is the smallest unit.

Someone in the comments mentioned the idea that converts to Hinduism treat it like Christianity and approach it from a Christian, which is to say western, mindset. I think that is sometimes the case. There are some western Hindus I see who seem to have replaced Jesus with Krishna and basically have a Baptist religion going on! But I don't really think our brains doom us to only be able to understand religion one way. I'm sure there are tendencies in us Americans to see things a certain way, but I do think those can change. Also, not everything is as western in our brains as you would expect and not all Indians have an "Indian mindset."

Several years ago a man named Whorf published a paper about how our native language effects our thoughts. He posited that if our language did not have a word for something, then we would be unable to know what it was. I'm pretty sure his was the theory behind the strange idea that the Native Americans, when Europeans first arrived, were unable to see the ships because they had no concept for that type of vessel (which seems ridiculous to me. They new what boats were, it just looked a bit different!). It later turned out that Whorf had no research whatsoever to back up these claims.

Our native language (and culture) does not doom us to never being able to understand another perspective. However, it does have effects. This article my Dad recently sent me illustrates it perfectly.

So yes, I do think that we all have a default way that we approach the world that is based on the culture around us and the way our parents teach us. But it isn't unchangeable and it also isn't always what you expect.

In many ways, I grew up with two cultures and two cultural ideals. There is the American culture around me and the Indian culture whose ideals were taught to me in my home. I have had tremendous difficulty reconciling the two.

There are a lot of ways in which I think like an American.

I like personal space, for example. Also, I believe in personal social mobility and that our birth should not be our destiny. Those are pretty American, or at least Western, ideas.

On the other hand, there are distinctly Indian things in my brain too and they often put me strongly at odds with those around me.

One example is that my first boyfriend really believed in progress. He believed that improvements in technology and education are making a better and better world, that we are growing and becoming greater, that a golden age is still in front of us. I could not understand his perspective at all. I'm very stuck in the idea of cyclical time and that we started out good and are running down (like entropy). But progress is one of the main ideas that America is built on.

The biggest thing that has made me unable to fit in is my ideas about marriage. By a huge margin, Americans believe that love is important in marriage and that one must be in love before getting married while Indians believe that romantic love is not a trustworthy emotion and has little to no connection to marriage.

I have both these messages competing for my loyalty and it's making it nearly impossible to date like a "normal" American.

If I say to my mother, "I'm not sure that I love this boy", she will respond, "You're so American. Love is fleeting. He's nice to you, he's a good man, what else do you think love is?"

Strangely enough, said American boyfriend would like for the woman he is with to love him. She thinks he is also being too picky.

What does love have to do with marriage?

I don't know. Growing up, I got the idea that the two are unrelated, or at least that you can create love from nothing with enough dedication and hard work.

But then when I moved out of my parents' house I started hearing something very different.

However, still stuck with my ideas about dedication and hard work, I've spent years with various boyfriends, trying to force myself into the mold of the perfect wife. Yet, I don't end up married. Because these American men don't want the perfect wife, they want someone genuine and that I don't know how to be.

Now that I'm nearing thirty and I'm still unmarried, I'm getting these mixed messages stronger and stronger. Of course, everyone just wants for me to be happy. They have very different ideas about how I should get there.

Love is not something that I can put into words. It is not something I am sure about. It can't be measured or quantified or located in a physical way. Like faith, I guess. And yet I have faith and I don't have any grasp on love.

How important is that spark, the sizzle, the chemistry, the feeling of being in love? Whether important or not, Americans want it in their relationships and I think that I want it too. I've tried the dedication and hard work route and it has not led me to happiness, so it's time to try to approach relationships like the American that I am.

I am taking a year off from dating in order to get a handle on myself and figure out how I am going to fit myself into the culture that I live in. Until I take a breather, and get my feet back under me, it is not fair to the men in my life for me to be dating.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Some Resources

Someone commented and left this link a couple weeks ago:
http://forum.advaitaforum.com/

I haven't done too much exploring there yet, but it seems like it will be a very useful resource. It is put together by Chinmaya, the organization that I now belong to. You can also read more at: http://www.advaitaforum.org/ And there is also a link to their Facebook group.

I also found something else neat. During my trip to Rosetta Stone in New York, I was given an ipod touch, so now I can experience apps (I've been so jealous of people with iphones!)

Going through the app store I found one called ipooja, which seems like an awesome idea. It comes with one pooja already on it for free, and the idea is that you can buy others (although their store doesn't seem to have much in it, so I hope they will come out with more).

These are the elaborate poojas for certain occasions and not a simple, every day type. But it has a section where it tells you all the things you need for the pooja, then how to set it up, then what to do and what chants to say, etc. It just guides you step by step.

I think this is an awesome idea! Here is their website: http://www.ipooja.com/ipooja.html


Looking into it further, I found some other similar apps, like this ipuja:
http://ipuja.weboot.com/

Here's one that answers questions about Hindu rituals and customs:
http://www.appstorehq.com/hinduritualsandroutines-iphone-2417/app

The only one I've tried so far is the ipooja, but I'm looking forward to downloading the others and seeing how they are.

It's amazing, isn't it, how technology has changed our lives. Only ten years ago, I wasn't sure what this whole "Inter-net" thing was. And look at me now! :)

ETA: I just tried the ipuja and I wasn't able to get it to work. I might try redownloading it. Also I found some other neat apps. If you look up "Hindu" in itunes app store you'll find things like
bhajan lyrics
prayers to use in Aartis
A Ganesha picture to which you can offer flowers, ring a bell, and break a coconut
And a low price one called imantra, in which you move virtual mala beads and listen to various different mantras that you select.