Disappointed in Glee

I'm feeling conflicted about this past week's Glee episode.

Glee is a new television show just starting its second season. The writing is not the greatest, but it's not bad. The characters are over the top and ridiculous, but it's fun in a cartoon way and the music is wonderful. I enjoy it a lot.

The show is about a high school glee club (a group that sings and performs) and a cast of characters from around the school. In this episode, one of the boys gets religious when he sees a face that looks like Jesus on his grilled cheese sandwich.

All the characters are allowed to express their beliefs, but when one child says that he doesn't believe in God it is met with horror. He has every right to his beliefs and his friends ought to respect that. Instead they pray for him behind his back and in the end he apologizes for being upset when they were only trying to help. "You're right," he says, "I shouldn't be pushing my friends away." But what about them pushing him away? His friends are being much, much pushier. "Why are you closing yourself off to a whole world of experiences that might surprise you?" one friend asks. Well, by that same token, would she be willing to experience atheism? She is closing herself off to that possibility in exactly the same way.

I think if you are a friend then you give someone help in the way that they ask for it.

The lack of diversity on Glee upsets me. There is one Jewish kid (and one sort-of Jewish one) and she doesn't seem at all bothered that her boyfriend is the one who found Jesus in a sandwich. Everyone else is Christian. Including the Indian principle of the school. I know it takes place in middle America, but they had an opportunity in this episode to bring in different ways of understanding God and they failed. There is a Sikh acupuncturist, but she gives no mention of what Sikhism is.

The two atheist characters were the evil cheerleading coach (who is an atheist because God did not cure her sister's Downs Syndrome) and the boy who is gay and feels rejected by the church. The message they give is that it isn't okay to believe whatever you believe. It's the default to be religious and if you're an atheist you have to have a reason, some terrible trauma to make you hate God and then you'll eventually get over it. That is not at all true in real life.

I wish Glee had been more sensitive. I guess they gave it a good try. It's a very hard subject. I miss Joan of Arcadia. Now that TV show did a fantastic job exploring ideas about faith and God.

Sneak praying is the worst. There are people in my life who pray for me to find God. Even though I already have. Even though I'm very happy with my God, they pray for me to find their God. Mine is not good enough. That irritates me.

I believe very strongly that every individual person has the right to define how they understand divinity and the way the world works. I have chosen Hinduism and no one can take that away from me. If someone chooses atheism, it is his right to do so.

To me, atheism is not a disrespect to God because God isn't a separate being somewhere out in the universe, keeping tabs on who is being nice to Him. To me, atheists just have a unique way of expressing a belief that they in themselves are enough. And they are, because actually they are God. (And they may very well find that as obnoxious as I find people praying for me to become a Christian, but that's my perspective).

Regardless of whether I understand someone's take on spirituality, their right to believe it must be defended. As I've said before, as soon as any one of us is able to take someone else's religion (including atheism) away, then someone can take ours from us. It is never okay.

Keys to India and TM

Ela left a blog suggestion on my last post and I've been reading though the posts and enjoying them very much.

This is the blog of a white woman who lives in India and has for quite a long time. This post in particular was interesting to me because she talks about her experiences with Transcendental Meditation (TM)

This is the same type of meditation and the same teacher who started the organization I grew up in down its path!

http://enjoyingindia.com/how-to-find-light-even-in-the-middle-of-disaster/

Identification

The passage that we were reading in study group had a lot to do with identification with the body, identification with the mind, and identification with universal consciousness.

The teaching goes that in reality who we are is the universal consciousness, God. We mistakenly identify with out limited bodies and minds and therefore, see ourselves as limited and mortal and incomplete. If we are able to recognize who we really are, then we will see that we are unlimited, immortal, and all of everything. That realization is what the term "self realized" refers to.

I realized that I shift between my identifications at different times. On an intellectual level, I understand the idea that I am the universal consciousness. When I rest in that awareness, there is no fear, no pain, and no longing. I have everything, I am everything.

At those times the whole world is like a big play going on around me and I can enjoy the drama for what it is, be entertained by it, but not bothered by it.

At other times I am strongly identified with my body. Those are the times when I feel desperate for a husband and children. Those are the times I feel depressed and lonely and worthless and unloved. And this is no big surprise. After all, it is a biological drive to want children. There is nothing more body-identified than that!

But that is all part of the game in this life. Whether I get it or not, doesn't actually amount to any importance. Perhaps that is not my part to play. As a game we used to play in Middle School would say, In two hundred years it won't make any difference whether I got married or had children.

A question for all

Another delightful study group is finished.

Afterward, Amma-ji spoke to me and she asked me a very important question. She said I should ponder this question and come back next week with an answer.

She said, children are always asking the why of things and when you teach religious classes to children you have to learn to have answers.

Why do we need religion?

That is the question. In stark contrast to my post about cherry-picking, in which I said it was fine for people who wanted to do that. However, religion is very important to me, the most important thing.

Why is that? Why do we need it at all? Is it not enough to be a good person?

I would like all of us to ponder this and start a discussion on this subject.

About Me

So, I realized that all you guys hear about me is the parts related to religion and I thought it might be nice to get a more rounded picture of me and what I'm like.

I am 28 years old. I live on my own in the North Eastern part of the U.S. I have a brother who is four and half years younger than I and he is my only sibling. Our mother comes from the Northern part of the country and our father from the South. We have many, many cousins and are a close-knit family.

I am the "creative one" in my immediate family. My father is a molecular biologist, my mother studied geography in school, and my brother just got a degree in information systems (something to do with computers and business). I got a B.A. and an M.A. in Fiction Writing!

My favorite job was when I was working as a proofreader. I love grammar and correcting grammar all day is a dream come true. Right now I'm working as a secretary and I've gone back to school to get a certificate to be a paralegal.

I've lived in five states in America, very spread out. They are: Massachusetts, New York, California, Arkansas, and Maryland.

I've visited Brazil, the Dominican Republic, and England (three times in England).

My brother has always considered me to be a most boring person. I'm a home body. I don't like to stay up late or go to bars or parties. I'm an introvert, so I find social situations overwhelming and scary. Plus, I hate the taste of alcohol, I hate loud noise, and I hate crowds. The usual twenty-something social scene is not for me!

I don't read social cues very well, but in college I stopped worrying about it. Now I just say what comes to mind and try to small talk with people without thinking too much about whether they dislike me or I'm making them uncomfortable. I trust that people will tell me.

I have a lot of hobbies that I am very passionate about. I do a lot of knitting and crocheting. I take on knitting with a fierce energy that goes against its reputation as something to relax with. I like to create things, whether its socks, a sweater, a blanket, a book, or a cake.

I made this shirt, can you believe this is only two years ago? I look so young!


I love extra long hair. I find it the most beautiful thing in the world and I always stare at women with hair to their knees or longer. I have always wanted to have such hair, ever since I saw Crystal Gayle on tv when I was a small child and her hair pooled on the floor around her. I have never managed my goal because of problems with guilt. Most of my young life I was hemmed in by tremendous feelings of guilt over everything. Especially guilt about having nice things. I didn't feel like I deserved to have beautiful hair and that it was vain and prideful of me to grow it, so if it ever got to around waist, I would cut it. I'm finished with that. Now I am going to grow the hair I have always wanted. I'll keep growing until it decides to stop, whatever length that might be. I get support for my crazy from www.longhaircommunity.com, where I am also learning fun, fancy updos for hair.


I have a tremendous weakness for gossip magazines at the grocery store. I love the pictures and the wild stories, it's like a real-life soap opera.

I love to play games, both board games and computer games. My recent boyfriend introduced me to World of Warcraft and I really enjoy that one! Previous to that I mostly just played The Sims and I was nervous to try a game that involved a lot of fighting. Then I discovered that I liked fighting things in the game. :)

I love small, cute things and particularly small dogs. When I finally got my own dog three years ago, I got a toy terrier. She is full grown and weighs 13 pounds. She has traveled across the country with me and been my constant companion. She's got a huge personality and she still gets me up at 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning to use the bathroom. I treat her like my child (a common occurrence in America) and I pour all my love into her.


I was mentioning in the comments that I have bad taste in movies. I am not at all interested in special effects in movies. I like movies that most people consider painfully boring. If it has philosophical questions about the meaning of life, I'm sure to like it. Then again, I find philosophical questions about the meaning of life in almost everything.

Back in school I took Spanish classes for a couple of years, but I dropped them because I was too nervous to be put on the spot to speak. In high school I took Latin because I wouldn't have to speak it. I was terrible at both Spanish and Latin. My translations were...creative.

That's an area of my life where I've made a lot of growth. I'm not in a Hindi class and I speak and answer questions every time (there are only two students in the class). I've stopped having a problem with making a fool of myself.

I really believe in self-improvement. I am always striving to make myself a better person, to cleanse and guide my soul.

So there you are, some other things about me.

And in case you want something more relevant, here are some recent posts on a Hindi Blog about the history of the official languages of India (Bonus, this is a new writer for this blog and he is great, he actually puts the post in both English and Hindi side by side).
http://www.transparent.com/hindi/hindi-other-indian-languages/
http://www.transparent.com/hindi/hindi-other-indian-languages-cont/

People will find their way

What did I tell you? It's a controversial subject!

Here are some of my further thoughts after reading some of the comments:

One of the great beauties of Hinduism is that there is no rush.

What if Hinduism really is the best or only path to God? Maybe it is. (It certainly is the best path for me personally). I do not have to go around desperately convincing people of that. I don't have to rush to make sure that people know about this because the clock is ticking down and human life is short and it could be too late for billions of people.

If we want the freedom to choose our religion and our path, then we have to grant that freedom to others.

You only know what is best for you. You cannot go into your brother's head and know what it is like to live his life. Our choices about our religion are for us alone and I am so grateful for that. I would not want to live in a place where it is illegal to not be Christian or Muslim or what have you.

I know that Hinduism, as a whole, with its complete package, is my path.

Even as wonderful as it is, with its rich philosophy, beautiful mythology, and ancient traditions, it may not be the best path for every human being.

I cannot know what the best path is for anyone except myself.

But again, there is no rush. Because if Hinduism is the right or only path, eventually everyone will find it. There is all the time in eternity for that to happen. People are born again and again, so don't stress about it.

Tandava commented on the last post that people might choose unhealthy things for themselves if left to their own devices. I say, let them. Let them learn what is best for them by trial and error. How else could we do it? Could we tell people that Hinduism is healthy and so they have to be Hindus "It's what's best for you, dear"? Should we legislate religion and tell people what they have to be because they would pick poorly?

Hec no. If we tried that, as a minority in Britain and America, it would go the opposite way. The others would legislate that we had to be Christian, as the majority in those countries believe that to be healthiest.

People who follow religions because they've been told to are not very enthusiastic. To carry on Tandava's food analogy, I went through years of not eating vegetables and eating sugar whenever I could get my hands on it because sweets were so heavily restricted in my childhood. I resented that I wasn't allowed to have them and I over did it when I was out on my own and could make my own choices.

Then my body started feeling lethargic and not quite right. I began to actually crave fresh vegetables. It was an unexpected feeling. Now I eat healthy most of the time and I love it. It feels good, it makes my body feel good.

But I did it because it felt right, not because someone told me that I had to. I never would have done it if someone was telling me I had to.

Have trust in people.

Many go years living a hedonistic life, but find it dissatisfying and look for and find meaning in religion. But many of them had to go through that pleasure-seeking time. Otherwise, how would they know? If all you do is deprive yourself and you never try out things that seem fun, you run the risk of being more bitter and resentful than joyous.

And the point of religion is joy.

People will find their way to what works for them eventually. They will try many, many things. If Hinduism is what works for everyone, then they will find their way to Hinduism. If Christianity is what works for everyone, we will one day all be Christians and be glad of it (I know, hard to imagine!)

So, don't stress.

You trust yourself to find your way and other people are no different from you, they are just as capable of finding their way.

Cherry-Picking

This can be a very hot topic in religious circles and people have very strong opinions. Known also as "cafeteria-style religion," this post is about picking and choosing the parts of religions that you like and leaving the rest.

Sometimes people will choose ceremonies, rituals, and practices from many different world religions and blend them together into their own thing. Sometimes people will consider themselves a particular religion, like Christian, but only practice the parts of the religion that they agree with and ignore other aspects that are part of the Church (or other religious entities). These approaches are both considered cherry-picking.

When I was a kid and a teenager I was extremely rules-driven and everything was black and white to me. I think that's true for a lot of kids, it takes maturity to develop the sense of gray area and that sometimes people do the best they can and it isn't ideal. I was taught that religion is about hard work, discipline, sacrifice, and not always getting what you want. Rigorous discipline was valued over every other quality.

So, at that time in my life, the idea of cafeteria-style religion was abhorrent to me. You can't just take the parts you like, I thought. If we did the easy way and just did the parts of religion that were enjoyable, we would not get far on the difficult path to enlightenment. Maybe we don't know the reasons for things, but we have to do them anyway, because that's the path. Who am I to decide what is right in a religion and what is misguided?

But, later in my life I began to think that I am the authority on what religion does for me. Why continue to punish myself and hang on to harsh disciplines if I was not finding any benefit from it in my life?

And then, strangest of all, my home organization relaxed its rules. Ankle-length skirts no longer required, eating Breakfast allowed, cooked food at meals allowed, a more relaxed pace, sometimes waking up as late as 5:30, even. These changes were really hard for me to swallow. What about the hard work, discipline, and personal sacrifice that I had been told were the most important things in life? The people in authority in my life were changing their minds.

I began to realize that they are human too. They don't really know more than I do about God and truth and the right path. We are all just feeling our way through this life and using whatever tests we have available to find what's right for us. Tests like Am I more serene? Do I feel more joyful doing this?

In Elizabeth Gilbert's new book Commitment, about the history of marriage, she has a passage very relevant to the change in my mindset and clearly illustrating why I have such a confusion in my spirit about things:

"It has long been understood by philosophers that the entire bedrock of Western culture is based on two rival worldviews--the Greek and the Hebrew-- and whichever side you embrace more strongly determines to a large extent how you see life.

From the Greeks--specifically from the glory days of ancient Athens--we have inherited our ideas about secular humanism and the sanctity of the individual. The Greeks gave us all our notions about democracy and equality and personal liberty and scientific reason and intellectual freedom and open-mindedness and what we might call today "multiculturalism."...

On the other hand, there is the Hebrew way of seeing the world. When I say "Hebrew" here, I'm not specifically referring to the tenets of Judaism. (In fact, most of the contemporary American Jews I know are very Greek in their thinking, while it's the American fundamentalist Christians these days who are profoundly Hebrew.) "Hebrew," in the sense that philosophers use it here, is shorthand for an ancient worldview that is all abut tribalism, faith, obedience, and respect...Hebrew thinkers see the world as a clear play between good and evil, with God always firmly on "our" side. Human actions are either right or wrong. There is no gray area. The collective is more imporant than the individual, morality is more important than happiness...

The problem is that modern Western culture has somehow inherited both these ancient worldviews--though we have never entirely reconciled them because they aren't reconcilable."

Even though here she is talking about ideas of marriage vows, this passage really caught my attention because this is the very struggle I have been going through. There are parts of my personality that are Greek and parts that are Hebrew and I'm struggling to figure out which one will dominate my thinking. Actually, as a child and teenager I was almost entirely Hebrew and now I am almost entirely Greek, but I still feel pangs of guilt and nostalgia for the Hebrew way of thinking.

What Elizabeth Gilbert has to say on the actual subject of cherry-picking religion is as follows:

"My friend was a Catholic by upbringing, but couldn't stomach returning to the church as an adult. ("I can't buy it anymore," he said, "knwoing what I know.") Of course he'd be embarassed to become a Hindu or a Buddhist or something wacky like that. So what could he do? As he told me, "You don't want to go cherry-picking a religion." Which is a sentiment I completely respect except for the fact that I totally disagree.

I think you have every right to cherry-pick when it comes to moving your spirit and finding peace in God. I think you are free to search for any metaphor whatsoever which will take you across the worldly divide whenever you need to be transported or comforted. It's nothing to be embarrased about. It's the hisotry of mankind's search for holiness...

Even in the most unlikely...of places, you can find sometimes this glimeering idea that God might be bigger than our limited religious doctrines have taught us... Doesn't that make sense? That the infinite would be, indeed infinite? That even the most holy amonst us would only be able to see scattered pieces of the eternal picture at any given time? And that maybe if we could collect those pieces and compare them, a story about God would begin to emerge that resembles and includes everyone?...

Don't we each have the right to not stop seeking until we get as close to the source of wonder as possible?"

Eat Pray Love, page 207.

I really like this woman! My thoughts on cherry-picking religion have changed immensely in the last couple of years. It now seems like a very reasonable thing to do. We have to find what works for us and only we ourselves can know that. No one else is privy to our inner heart.